What a Coug.
I’m not much of a ladies man. Of late, my love live has been drier than ladies vagina’s at an Elton John concert.
But this wasn’t always the case. There was a time when I hadn’t yet discovered what insane, nasty and gold digging creatures nine out of every ten women are.
Ok, let me rephrase that.
There was a time when I hadn’t yet discovered what insane, nasty and gold digging creatures nine out of every ten women I have dated were.
The year was, umm… shit. I ran out of fingers and toes. Let’s call it the latish 80′s. I was maybe eight or nine years old, and the chicks dug me. I made all the boys jealous, because it was the school dance, and I was dancing with Stacey Spencer.
All the little boys wanted to dance with Stacey. Stacey had boobs! Which was unusual for a twelve year old back in the 80′s. Unlike today, little girls still looked like little girls, not skanky little prosti-tots. But I was doing the little kid shuffle with Stacey, to the eight minute plus ballad of Gun’s and Roses November Rain. A whole eight minutes with which I could devise how to get my hand on some sweet twelve year old bum.
Did I mention I was nine and she was twelve? What a COUGAR!
Representing grade school Coug's everywhere
I must have been something special back then. All the little skanky ho’s wanted to be with the 14 year olds. Nothing said cool like patchy molester mustaches, zits, and only two years until a drivers license.
I understand, Stacey. I like younger boys, too.
But that day, I got to be with Stacey. Until her 14 year old boyfriend found out I had in fact touched her boob, and he beat me up with my own fist.
To this day, if somebody tells me to stop hitting myself, I go ballistic.
Anyways, that’s how I touched boob at nine years old, then got beat up.
To wrap up this little story that went absolutey nowhere, boy are the pedophiles who find their way to this post via keywords going to be dissapointed. To fucking back Micheal Jackson, you disgusting perv!
I likey the booooooobies!...
hi…there is a dedication for u from someone, waiting at my blog–nostalgic moments…so do come over and check it out
seeya around
Sorry about the misunderstanding with Stacy’s boyfriend years ago …those older boyfriends have no sense of humor.
You have got some help for that haven’t you Spaz?
Kevin John’s last blog post..The Last Party
Yeah… Little girls definitely look like whores today…
“November Rain” huh? That is a long ass song…
John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer’s last blog post..The PETArds Have Done It Again
That’s what school dances were all about.. Coppin a feel.
The getting beat up part… so sad. I’m sure you were scarred for life.
catscratch’s last blog post..U-Turns, Mindless Driving & Phone Etiquette
Everyone had their chance with Stacy.
Even “I” got to dance with Stacey.
Wait … back in the 80′s. I was in my 30′s.
Nevermind … it wasn’t me.
Practically Joe’s last blog post..The Seven Wonders of Joe
I OFTEN get punched for groping.
Honeys Ssecretly LOVE being touched up…ESP young ones!!!!
12 is a BIT young for me though (I’m 33).
Julian Meteor’s last blog post..I was on RADIO 1!!!!!
If you scroll part way down and leave just the eyes shehim, I swear it is Julia Child.
ettarose’s last blog post..PETA Should Be Animal Trainers
Nice story. I’m reminded of some of my grade school infatuations and fantasies.
Pri: Yup, that’s my Nehya
Kevin: Nowadays I don’t seem to have that problem.
John: Must be the beef hormones and britney spears.
catscratch: It was worth the boob!
Joe: When I got a little older, it was Chantal. Everybody got a piece of Chantal. Gross.
Julian: When you’re 9 and she’s 12, she’s doing you a favour. When she’s 12 and you’re 33, that’s called molestation. You should probably remember that
ettarose: Who?
Hungry: If you had a penis and weren’t gay, boob was the best thing going in grade school.
I remember getting felt up at the ripe age of ten. I HAD BOOBS! and to this day, I remember the class mastermind walking straight up to me with his hands held out at the proper level. TO THIS DAY, I think of him as a weirdo, even though he turned out to be a local millionaire. Where did I go wrong….I could have “had him” in the fifth grade.
dana’s last blog post..
Negative points for you for not PhotoShopping in a penis on the Elton John picture. Seriously – look at it…prime candidate if I’ve ever seen one.
moooooog35’s last blog post..Motivational Filler – Racism
I didn’t have boobs in gradeschool so missed this crucial life step.
Meghan’s last blog post..I’ll Show You A Virus *Shakes Fist*
9 out of 10???? Ok, you are definitely not looking in the right places for women. If I was looking for money I would be a rich girl right now…sadly…I still look for personality and sense of humour. Hmmm…that just makes me single and broke…:(
Dana, he wasn’t weird, he was just curious/horny!
moooooooooooog: What’s with you and penis? Seriously!!
Meghan: It’s ok, you’re a late bloomer and WHAT a bloomer from what I’ve seen
vikki: You know what they say, girls are from mars, men have a penis.
This post got me to thinking about who was the first boy to touch my boobs. I seriously can’t remember. Well whoever he was maybe if he is a blogger he too will do a post about it.
lbluca77’s last blog post..If my walls could talk you know what they would say? Wanna hear a story?
Mike, I love Micheal Jackson’s Music but yeah he is a perv.
You seemed popular in elementary school. You got beat up for
touching boobs? Girls dig that now, or it is just me? hehehe
Chan’s last blog post..You Are Awesome NeNe
I love Cougars. That first pic took me back to when I had childhood crushes, which is such a refreshing feeling but then you ruined it with that Michael jackson pic.
Do you wonder where she is now? Because I do.
Iron Pugilist’s last blog post..Thought In My Head
sorry, 2nd pic.
Iron Pugilist’s last blog post..Thought In My Head
I’m pretty sure I would pay to see someone get beat up with their own fist.