Can I see your I.D., Please?
Today, I was carded.
Yea, me. I was carded. They asked for my I.D. Me, a thirty-one year old man with a beard. I’m not talking about a scraggly teenager molester mustache either, I’m talking full growth, no skin showing kinda manly man’s beard.
This thing on my upper lip will get me into ALL the bars! Isn't my camo cool?
It was lunch time, and I was at the local grocery store buying a sandwich. I noticed a sign on the till that read Wednesdays Seniors Day. Ask for 5% discount. So naturally, I asked for a discount.
Naturally, I asked for my 5% off.
Not only did she laugh at me, she asked me for proof! She wanted to see my ID proving I was the seniors age.
That’s when I learned to them, seniors mean sixty years old or older. I can’t get a discount until I double my age, which makes no sense at all. My old man is just about sixty and he has WAY more money than me. They should make a young persons discount.
But that got me to thinking. Coming of old age is just like coming of age. Your body goes through the same types of changes.
For example, they tell you when you’re young that you’ll get hair where you never had any before. And that’s true. I started sprouting pubes when I was twelve and had a full on pelvic afro by the time I was fourteen. For a while, it stayed like that.
But then I started getting old. And again, I started growing hair where I never had any before. This time though, it wasn’t just pubes. I mean, it started at the pubes. No, that’s not true either. It started at the testicles and didn’t stop until it reached almost my damned neck.
I haven't had to buy a shirt since 1997.
Speaking of new hair, what the hell is with the re bar growing out of my shoulders? Not on top, but right where the shoulder meets the arm. They’ve got to be strong enough to support a car. There’s only three or four of them, but it’s hard to have a cool looking tattoo with that shit on there. Unless the tattoo is of a vagina. Then that would work.
The wiggly changes too. Back when I was fourteen, a good stiff breeze would have him standing at attention. That didn’t really work out that well for me when answering a question on the blackboard or watching the girls play volleyball.
Now that I’m going through second puberty, I thought that reaction would remain and get stronger, but no. Not when I really need it, now that I’m old enough to know what to do with it. The staying power of little Spaz just isn’t the same, even if I’ve had a sandwich and a nap. Not fair!
But there are good things too. My skin doesn’t seem to be reacting violently to this second puberty, and my face is zit free. Even when I forget to wash (for a week).
And it also gives me something to look forward to. Back then, it was not having to worry about having I.D. to buy your Texas mickey of rum. Soon, I won’t have to prove I’m too young to get the seniors discount.
Life is way better when there’s something to be excited about!
I likey the booooooobies!...
As with all things in life, the reality never lives up to the expectation. When you get old, you will have no reason, ever again, to be proud of ANYTHING. Even farts are no longer funny since they’re a way of life and not an unexpected occurrence.
dana’s last blog post..THERE’S SOMETHING NEW COMING TOMORROW. BE SURE AND CHECK BACK.
I got carded a few months back at a cold beer and wine store and I’m 42!! The cashier was either on crack or legally blind but either way, I told her I loved her and put her on my Christmas card list!!..as for the hair thing,,,I think for women (or maybe it’s just me), we get less hair as we age..thankfully, not on my head!!
That really IS you isn’t it?!
Knight’s last blog post..Delurkify
I get carded some times but that’s cause at 28 I still look like jailbait. I’m just counting down the days til I can get the senior’s discount at Denny’s.
Meghan’s last blog post..Carmen San Diego
We all want to know if it’s really you in that pic.
The 1st one, not the 2nd one!
*grin*
Say it is so
technodoll’s last blog post..I’m scared
Dana: Farts are ALWAYS funny. ALWAYS.
Vikki: Less nair needed?
Knight: First pic or second? I’ll give you a clue: It’s neither
Meghan: Problem with seniors menu is that there’s less food than the kids menu.
technodoll: Could have been, but my glasses were smaller and I was a tad dorkier
My husband once got asked if he had his school ID at the movies so they could give the student price. This was like 3 years ago and I was standing right next to him. That pissed me off a little bit.
Bee’s last blog post..When was the last time you shared the adventures of your lack of bowel movements with the world?
To bad when you get old hair didn’t sprout where you once had it but don’t anymore. Why does nature have to be so cruel to me!
Hey, got any Rogaine?
DeadRooster’s last blog post..Why You Shouldn’t Display Your Feedcount until you have 100 Subscribers
Bee: Yea but he could have been the coolest kid in the local high school screwing the hot coug
rooster: Nope, don’t need the stuff. My head hair stayed. It’s playing chicken with my back hair
Dude, I’m 30 and my dick still stands at attention from the lightest of breezes… but I’m Italian.
John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer’s last blog post..Superhomo
I LOVE getting carded. It makes me giggle and bat my eyelashes, even when it is a girl that asks for my ID.
lbluca77’s last blog post..The curious case of cranky Candy
Spaz, don’t listen to John, I think all old dicks are the same.Unless they’re medicated. Just wait until all it does is hang it’s head and watches you tie your shoes.
ettarose’s last blog post..Another Trip Through The Caverns
I feel like I’m reading ‘Mental Poo 2.’
Shaved balls.
Limp dick.
Poop stories.
It’s all there except for the dashing good looks.
Seriously – it looks like you have a milk moustache.
What’s up with the giant glasses – are you trying to see Pluto?
moooooog35’s last blog post..Motivational Filler – Swimming and Advantages
Just wait until you’re 60… goodness knows what little Spaz will be like! At least you’ll have your 5% discount to cheer you up.
Tiggy’s last blog post..Chinese Whispers – Sparky’s Party
John: Are you sure that it isn’t just a clump of hair?
lbluca77: It’s ok for girls to be lesbians. Right?
ettarose: I plan to get half pills of viagra when that happens – just so I don’t pee on my shoes when i go to the bathroom.
moooooooog: You’re not quite old enough to be my father. Also, I’m not that tall but I still tower over you. Maybe you’re a long lost brother? You are about the same height as my mom.
I get carded all the time and it used to make me feel good, til they carded the old git behind me last time.
Their policy is to card everydamnbody.
I am obviously not old enough to get a senior discount, so I haven’t even tried… yet.
Mr. Wiggly is just fine, he’ll get his second wind around 40, so I’ve heard. The demon from my past was 40 and he was in his second wind… loads of fun, loads of fun.
catscratch’s last blog post..Demons from the Past
I was carded buying smokes not that long ago. I’m 36 and I had my 17 year old daughter with me. Go figure.
Jane Doe’s last blog post..Winning, Being Single, and Pod People
I found you through Humorbloggers.com. I dig your site and will be back for lots more. Funny, funny, funny!
IB
IB’s last blog post..48 is the New 73
I love getting carded!
Jessica’s last blog post..And Now…. a Musical Interlude
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