The Mind of Spaz

Not too long ago, I was talking to my mechanic as he worked on my truck. The topic of boobs naturally came up, as is want when two humans with penis’s are encouraged by the close proximity of power tools.

We discovered that we had different tastes in titties. He likes big fat sloppy boobs. It didn’t matter if they were shapely or perky or hanging where they should be, as long as he could stick his face in there and motorboat to his hearts delight. Even if he was motorboating at knee level, as I so pointed out.

Personally, there’s nothing wrong with big boobs but I like nice, perky titties. The kind that defy gravity. If I could have the perfect boob, it would be a boob that was so perky that wearing a bra was only a formality.

Now, it occurs to me that women would have two issues with their boobs.

1. As we have become a society of slutty skanks, women change partners more often than they change their tampons
2. Boobs become deflated and pancake like as they age

Both situation do not bode well on making a good boob impression. After all, you may be hooking up with a man who likes big sloppy boobs followed by a man who has good taste in titties (like me) and back to another man who likes motorboating chest manatee’s.  And of course, floppy choppy pancakes as you get older.

So what is a girl to do?

I’ll tell you what a girl is to do! She’s to order my revolutionary product called the Titflator(TM)!

The product is very simple.  Empty sacs are inserted into the boob.  Tubes from those sacks go down to a reservoir in her belly.  Attached to the reservoir is a pump activated by her kegel muscles.  In her belly button is a discrete three way valve for fill, drain and off.

When the young (or old) lady wants to pump up her boobs, she simply has to turn the belly button valve to fill, drink some water, and then activate her kegel muscles in her very favorite way.  To deflate, simply turn the belly button valve to drain.  Simple, precise and immediate bigger or smaller boobs, right before your eyes!  See this simple diagram of how the product works:

But don’t just take my word for it.  Just see what these satisfied customers have to say!

Before I got titflator(TM) I was so embarrassed by my pancake boobies.  Now, I can inflate them to any perky size I want!  All I have to do is turn my belly button valve to fill, drink a certain amount of water, and go for a bike ride on a cobble stone road! Nothing could be easier and more pleasurable! Thanks Titflator(TM)!

-Molly S.

My boyfriend would never pay attention to my little mosquito bite titties.  So one day I had Titflator(TM) installed. I drank some water, and turned the valve to fill before we had sex.  My boobs got bigger with every thrust!  Now he brags to his buddies that he’s so good in bed he made my boobs grow!  Well at least one of those is true.  Thanks Titflator(TM), you’re the greatest!

-Cheryl W.

I loved your product. Until the valve got stuck that is.  What the heck!  I’ve got penis flying at me from every direction and I don’t think my boobs can get any bigger!  I’m afraid they’re going to burst – for the love of god, how do you unstick the valve?  I can’t see my feet anymore!  Please, send out a technician or something….

-Pamela A.

So what are you ladies waiting for!  Order the Titflator(TM) today and you won’t regret it!

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