The Mind of Spaz

I love special people.  Not special as in really pretty, or very smart, or incredibly passionate.  I mean special as in……  handicapped.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m sure all you human rights activists are going to get on my case about how they are people too and they have rights and I shouldn’t be making fun of them.

But why not? Everybody makes fun of everybody.  If you’ve been reading my site you’ll know that I’ve made fun of the religious, the morbidly obese, the ugly, the drunk, vegetarians, young people, old people, dumb people and idiotic people. You see, I have to have a poke at the handicapped or I WILL be offending them!

Moving on.

How can you not enjoy the antics of true mental spaztics? Take a Movie theater for example.  An action movie by itself can be good, but if there’s a collection of downs syndrome patients on a field trip going DUUUUURGH! and clapping their hands at every explosion, well, now you have a comedy.

My very favorite are the ones with downs syndrome. It must be bliss to be so easy to please.  Also, I wish I had retard strength. I hear those fuckers don’t have to exercise a day in their life but damned near lift a car!  Also, I hear the guys have penis’s  that hang down to their knees. Sometimes missing a chromosome isn’t so bad.

What I’m really on about though, is the retarded in the workforce.  The province of Ontario has a program to subsidize employers who hire the (relatively) competent handicapped.  I believe they pay up to half the salary.  Which is absolutely fantastic.  I can’t speak for all, but I’ve seen many downs syndrome kids with menial jobs who think it’s the BEST thing in the world.  Compare that with “normal” kids who bitch and moan that their $28.00 per hour Toyota jobs sweeping the floor is just unfair. Really, who’s the ‘tard here?

I think it’s great that my tax dollars go to help people feel useful. There’s nothing better in life than feeling useful, even if feeling useful to some people is not pooping their pants for a four hour shift.  I’ve only ever had one problem with this: Some dipshit at Wendy’s put a girl with sever downs syndrome on the salad line.  My salad didn’t need any dressing due to the soaking of ‘tard drool.

Seriously, why would you put a person that has no concept of hygiene and no control of flowing bodily fluids on food production. That’s retarded in and of itself!

I am going somewhere with this.  You see, usually, they put people with special needs in very menial jobs because of their lack of mental prowess. Clearing off tables, taking out the garbage, sweeping the floor, anything you’d have a normally functioning teenager do. But I saw something this weekend, something that made me stop and re-evaluate this.

I saw a police car with the words on the side of it, SPECIAL CONSTABLE.

Oh… My…God. They’re allowing retards to do policing now?

So here’s what I want to know. Do these special constables actually have their own car or do the normal cops carry them in the back seats for special work, kind of like K-9 units?

Regardless, I feel safer on the streets knowing that our government is finally using the most powerful tool we have to combat crime.

Retard strength.

‘Nuff Said.

politically incorrect, talking out of my ass corky, downy's, retard strength, retarded, special people