Home > poo, talking out of my ass > Unchecked Brain

Unchecked Brain

April 27th, 2009

I don’t know what’s going on. I have a major case of subject block. My brain has been dryer than Ellen Dengeneris’s vagina at a fireman auction.

So I’m just going to write any and all things that come from my head, first time, no planning, no editing.  Not even for spelling.

Not that I edit for speeling anyways.

Moving on.

Fucking hippies. I hate them.  Yea, that’s right. I hate hippies.  They need to shower. Women hippies need to shave their legs and their vaginas. My god, can you imagine an unwashed hippie vagina?  I mean, when you let after sex juice combinations stew just for a few hours it smells like hell. Can you imagine unwashed free sex afro like hippie vagina?  I bet she can open her foul legs and drop a fly at fifty paces.

I mean, the hippies general bad hygiene isn’t the only reason I hate them. It’s also along the lines of demonstrating for things they don’t understand and are too dumb to look at the big picture.  But hey, that’s what free society is all about, right?

I thought I hated children. But I really just hate what they have become due to helicopter parents.  Hey parents! Stop hovering and maybe your children will grow up to be adults!  Then again, if you’re not an adult how will they ever be?

Man, I’m such a bitter bastard. Lets’ liven this shit up, shall we?

Why exactly do people have so much problems shitting?  Seriously. Every time I’m in the drug store buying bandages, rubbing alcohol and do it yourself burn kits, I see people buying stomach remedies off the shelves.

It’s either stuff to stop the shits or stuff to make the shits.

I eat food, I turn it to poo, I pass it through my ass. At least once a day, usually twice. It rarely comes out runny, but it ALWAYS comes out.

So what we need to do is selective breeding.  I mean, I could jerk off into every single sperm jar on the planet, but then we’d all be TOO perfect.  And if we were all too perfect, much of my blog fodder (when I’m not subject blocked) would disappear.

No, what we need to do is turn the drug store into a giant dating service.

We’ll force those who have to buy runny shit medication to mate with those who buy can’t shit medication, and the resulting children will be people who shit normally, like me.

Ok, I’m done.
Later everybody.

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poo, talking out of my ass , , , , , ,

  1. April 27th, 2009 at 05:40 | #1

    Poor Ellen. Also you’re wrong about the too-perfect spawn thing; that could only happen if they were related to me. Unfortunately I am morally against children.

  2. April 27th, 2009 at 05:55 | #2

    You should have writers block more often. Your free-writing is superb. I found myself recoiling, laughing, shaking my head in disbelief and nodding in agreement (not necessarily in that order.

  3. April 27th, 2009 at 07:05 | #3

    @Miss Milk
    What do you mean poor Ellen? She’s a lesbian and proud of it. I’m just using that. I’m sure she would agree ;)

    @dizzblnd
    I bet you were agreeing with drug store breeding, right?

  4. April 27th, 2009 at 07:56 | #4

    You are quite the efficient poo machine…so at any given time you are full of and processing said poo ;-) … by the way, do it yourself burn kits??

  5. April 27th, 2009 at 08:35 | #5

    Nice try but my parents both suffer with chronic constipation and I shit every day without fail. Wait a minute, my Uncle Johnny suffered from chronic diarrhea. Mommy, noooooo!!!

    Douglas’s last blog post..New Deal – Finish The Sentence

  6. April 27th, 2009 at 08:59 | #6

    So what if you’re a bitter bastard, at least you can poo without the aid of a laxative.

    chowner’s last blog post..How Meatloaf came to realize what he would, and wouldn’t, do for love.

  7. April 27th, 2009 at 10:03 | #7

    @WinkyTwinky
    You have NO idea how much of a poo machine I really am ;)

    @Douglas
    HA! So your uncles your daddy and your daddy’s your uncle! Nice.

  8. April 27th, 2009 at 10:04 | #8

    @chowner
    And with a laxative, I can projectile Poo.

    I’ll give you a minute to get the visual in your head.

  9. April 27th, 2009 at 10:23 | #9

    You had me at ‘Ellen Degeneres.’

    Not that I’m into Ellen Degeneres, but more that I’m jealous that Ellen Degeneres is into Portia DeRossi.

    Literally.

    I’m totally going lesbo today.

    moooooog35’s last blog post..The Shittiest Rainbow

  10. April 27th, 2009 at 10:54 | #10

    Helicopter parents. I know them well, being a principal and all. My office is a landing pad.

    Chris’s last blog post..Sweep, Caroline, DA DA DA!

  11. April 27th, 2009 at 12:31 | #11

    @moooooog35
    Mooog.

    That’s a pick up line that never worked out for me.

    Me: I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.
    Her: What does that even mean?
    Me: Umm
    Me: I’m really good with my tongue.

  12. April 27th, 2009 at 12:31 | #12

    @Chris
    How do you keep from shooting them?

  13. April 27th, 2009 at 13:22 | #13

    “unwashed free sex afro like hippie vagina”

    Why are my eyes watering all of a sudden?

    Shawn’s last blog post..The HBDC Story Meme

  14. April 27th, 2009 at 13:31 | #14

    @Shawn
    Maybe hitting to close to home?? :P

  15. April 27th, 2009 at 16:30 | #15

    unwashed hippie vaginas are like old moldy caves of doom

    sam’s last blog post..A New Low For Schwarzenegger

  16. April 27th, 2009 at 21:26 | #16

    @sam
    Direct experience my friend?

    I’m so so sorry.

  17. April 28th, 2009 at 13:51 | #17

    I will be thinking about unwashed stewing hippie sex juices for the rest of the day.

    THANKS.

    LiLu’s last blog post..Why I ALWAYS Sit at the Bar… And So Should You.

  18. April 28th, 2009 at 14:48 | #18

    @LiLu
    I take it from your thanks I gave you good visuals?

    Your welcome.

  19. April 28th, 2009 at 23:15 | #19

    May you be blessed with subject block more often…:)
    Oh wait – that sounds like I do not like your unblocked subjects which is not true; blocked or unblocked…your subjects are hilarious.

    Phillipia’s last blog post..Photo-op revisited….

  20. November 5th, 2009 at 11:00 | #20

    Research the market values before you go for shopping, so that you

  21. November 8th, 2009 at 06:40 | #21

    Interesant. Mersi

  22. November 10th, 2009 at 06:17 | #22

    Car insurance is an obvious must, but is sometimes hard to find what you need.

  1. April 27th, 2009 at 05:34 | #1
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