A Woman in Man Zone.
Back in the day a men’s washroom was where men
pee’d, poo’d, farted and boasted about all the women they didn’t actually screw. This is the sanctuary for men to do all the things we’re not allowed to do in front of the women folk, because it’s a men’s room.
A men’s room as in no women allowed. You women have your own room to insert your tampons and quiff and poot or whatever it is you do.
So imagine my surprise, as I’m at the urinal with my dick in my hands, when a woman come into OUR room.
And yes, I did say dick in my HANDS. I have the opposite problem of moooooog. It’s a nice problem to have.
But back to the topic at hand.
Ha! Topic at HAND.
You see what I did there?
Anyways.
There are WOMEN in the mens room and I got my cock out. It’s not like I can stuff it back in my pants because I’m peeing at the time.
You CANNOT stop midstream. That’s impossible. Well you can, but it feels like a billion bee’s poking at your bladder, just about ready to sting you to death.
So naturally, I FREAK! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING IN HERE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM NOW!
Actually, my reaction was more along the lines of ‘ummmm?’.
Yea, I’m such a hard ass.
I mean, if she was hot I might have risked the sexual harresment charge. Hey, she was invading man territory, and that sends a clear signal.
Just as clear as a woman wearing a push up bra and a low cut top. When she gets pissed at you looking down her cleavage, what she’s really saying is “I’ll meet you behind the bleachers later. Bring a condom”.
But she did not look hot at all. She was UGLY. She looked like mooogs therapist. Mooog has a picture of his therapist, so you can understand what I’m talking about.
Thank you mooog, your graphics make it easy.
So I say “ummm?”
She screams and leaves.
Apparently, the building manager was hosting a walk through so cleaning people could bid on the contract. Apparently this woman thought the men’s room was empty, despite the building being full of over caffinated engineering types.
Silly, silly girl.
If there’s a moral to this story, I guess it’s this:
Always carry a domer in your wallet just in case the english as a second language cleaning lady walks in on you draining the main vein and she’s actually hot.
And carry a stun gun in case she looks like moooogs therapist and still wants some.
‘Nuff said.
I’m … well … I’m shocked. What in the hell was she thinking!?
Chris’s last blog post..Computer says ‘No’ to my monkey
I don’t have this problem because mine is retractable.
Not on purpose.
By the way, I haven’t been pimped this much since my Uncle Jim came to visit from Fresno when I was 9.
Thanks.
I think I get 10%.
moooooog35’s last blog post..Angela Lansbury Beats Naked Pooing Lady
I’m really sorry. That was your one chance to fulfill the cleaning lady fantasy and the gods threw you an ugly chick. Bad luck.
Douglas’s last blog post..Phive Phun Photo Captions – Lip Disk
@Chris
She wasn’t!
@moooooog35
Everyone deserves a pimping. NOW WHERE’S MY MONEY, HO!
@Douglas
Vagina isn’t worth getting fired over, even pretty vagina!
Loved the analogy re: the bees. How apropo. And is that “Disgusto the Gross” line yours or moooog’s? It fits.
Chris’s last blog post..I’ve Heard of the Low Post, But This is Ridiculous
A woman that nasty would totally make my wang shrivel up and hide.
chowner’s last blog post..Mantras used by Donald Trump to help him get through the day.
LOL…bet the fly on the wall got a good laugh outta that scene…
WinkyTwinky’s last blog post..Random Silliness…. Sing It!!!!
I came across this when searching info on Google. I will use it to complete my report for this weekend, thanks for the info.
She knew there would be someone in there. It was a trap. You passed. You win…… keeping your job!Hurrah!
Also….hands? Call me.
Meghan’s last blog post..The Best Things in Life Aren’t Free
@Chris
Can’t take credit for that line, it’s all moooooogs.
@chowner
Kind of like cold, but worse?
@WinkyTwinky
Flies can laugh? You been smoking the dope again?
@Wine Storage Tips
Your welcome. Please include all the F-bombs in your report.
@Meghan
Sure,I wouldn’t mind a grilled cheese sandwich.
well – i’ve watched a lot of internet movies and many times the girl will come in…..strip …& let you pound her from behind. Hopefully this happens the next time!
walt’s last blog post..The Cuchini – The Modern Day Cure for Camel Toe
I did the opposite one back when I bothered to go into work. We had one building that had the mens room to the left and all other buildings where it was to the right. I walked into the women’s room pre-occupied with some stupid thought (probably why waffles and pancakes haven’t had it out once and for all in a giant cage match showdown) and suddenly wondered why they had modified the bathroom with extra stall and where in the hell was the urinal. As I realized the error and started the “undo” process a women came in. I said “Don’t ask…” and ran off screaming…
Funny post as always!
I’m guessing.. and just guessing.. that she screamed at the sight of your dick. Don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. LOL! Silly girl is right.
What’s the big deal? Ha ha did you get it? What’s the big deal? Who cares if she saw your dick. Is yours different from others in some bizarre way? A dick is a dick is a dick I always say. If you got it flaunt it.
ettarose’s last blog post..The World According to Garp?
@walt
From behind – you can’t see her face, GOOD IDEA!
@VE
Did you scream like a girl? That might have let you stay.
@Lady Sarcasm
I think she screamed at the situation, but that’s a normal reaction anyways LOL
@ettarose
She didn’t, I was at a urinal, they’re designed so you can’t really see the dick unless you’re looking down. Which is why I hate peeing beside really tall homos.
I wonder what her reaction would have been had you swung around violently and faced her…
Ha ha! Spaz got caught pink-handed
technodoll’s last blog post..A very wet weekend!
Just to fuck with her, I would have screamed like a cheerleader in a horror film.
John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer’s last blog post..Haiku, Hiatus, and a Sonnet
Maybe next time, if you think quiker.. you can ask her to help you tame the beast!
dizzblnd’s last blog post..Humor Bloggers Story
I don’t get very well the concept here, so I believe people may disagree with it.