Klingons are Gay
Yes, Klingons are gay. I’m not talking about those little pieces of poo that stick to your ass hairs, even though those are gay too. I’m talking about the Klingons of Star Trek fame.
Yes, I realize they are the epitome of manliness, what with the muscles and the fighting and the rough bloody violent sex. But that’s just how Gene Roddenberry dreamed them up.
You see, it turns out Klingons are real and they are nothing like Gene Rodenberry imagined.
It seems that the actual Klingons contacted Gene on his death bed. I got the transcript and I’m posting it in honour of the release of the newest star trek movie, even though I heard there were no Klingons in it.
The following is an actual MSN messenger conversation that Gene had with said Klingons.
*Bloop a bloop!*
Klingon: Gene baby, are you there? Gene: Who’s this? Can’t you see I’m dying here? Klingon: Sure silly buns, and I have something to tell you. A dirty deep dark secret. Gene: I like dirty secrets. Do tell. Klingon: Klingons are real! And I’m one of them! Gene: Bullshit. Klingon: I’ll prove it to you. Look down between your legs: Gene: Nothing there but an 8″ trouser python. Klingon: Yummers. But seriously, look down between your legs. Gene: Fine, I’m looking. *pink doily appears over Gene’s Crotch. Gene: Holy Schatner! You are real! Klingon: I told you sweety pants! Gene: What do you want with me? Klingon: We were traveling past your planet and caught some episodes of star trek. We can’t believe you thought of a random alien character and it turns out you got the look and the name bang on! Gene: Oh no! Are you going enslave our planet in an orgy of blood and violence? Klingon: Sigh. Alas, there will be no orgies with you ugly ridgeless beings. I just thought since you were about to die we’d reveal the truth. Gene: So if you don’t act like the Klingons in star trek, then how exactly do you act? Klingon: Ok I’ll send you a picture that should explain everything. Here it is:
Klingon: I hope that explains everything. I have to go now!
Gene: Wait! I have so many questions to ask!Klingon: No can do! I have a needlepoint class in an hour. Gene: I’m going to tell everybody! Klingon: Sigh. I thought this might happen. Greg, energize.
And that’s how Gene Roddenberry died, with a batleth in his ass. I bet you didn’t know that, did you.
I likey the booooooobies!...
And there you have it. Sith forever!
Shawn’s last blog post..Monday Movie Reviews
I bet they enjoy an occasional “rusty trombone.”
Blonde Goddess’s last blog post..Mother’s Day weekend! (At least I kept my clothes on in public!)
Well, at least now we know…what we didn’t really want to know.. thanks Spaz!
Winky Twinky’s last blog post..Mother-Tard of the Day
Captain’s Log 05/11/09: I knew it.
chowner’s last blog post..Mantras used by Donald Trump to help him get through the day.
I would expect such a thing from Ferengies, but not the turtle shell for a forehead Klingons!
C.B.Jones’s last blog post..Hopalong Cassidy would be proud…I think…
Finally. The truth!
John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer’s last blog post..Haiku, Hiatus, and a Sonnet
@Shawn
May the Schwartz be with you.
@Blonde Goddess
Maybe a cleveland steamer?
@Winky Twinky
TMI can be found here in SPADES.
@chowner
Easy there Kirk, don’t go rushing off to the Klingon homeworld half cocked. Take some lube.
@C.B.Jones
It’s always the obvious when you think about it.
@John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer
And no shocker there eh?
Spaz, Kirk knew this all along. It’s why he has been relegated to the Priceline negotiator. Hey come pick up your award. Your brother beat you to it getting his.
ettarose’s last blog post..Va-Jay Jay Visor and Other Cool Things
@ettarose
Thank you for the kind words and award! I never knew you felt that way, and I’m betting not all older lady’s vagina’s look like half eaten roast beef sandwiches.
This lady was gross. Seriously.
“Thilly bunths”… thank you for that. I will never look at Worf the same way.
(Additionally, the next time someone pisses me of I am most definitely calling them an “ugly ridgeless being.”
LiLu’s last blog post..Awesomeness Abound: Your Loony Bin IS Fine, Benny Lava
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