I am such an Idiot.
It’s hot out, really hot. Here in southern Ontario, we’re experiencing a heat wave that gives us days of 30 degrees or hotter (for any American reading, 30 degrees real temperature is about 4,375 degrees farenheight). I decided to spend my money on a room in the basement instead of replacing my decrepit old and broken central air conditioner.
Boy was that ever a mistake.
The heat hit and my cool basement room isn’t ready yet. I should have done the work in the winter and got the central air replaced, that was mistake #1. Mistake #2 was with my window A/C unit I got last year.
It was a NICE unit, until I dropped it from the window winterizing the house. Durrrr. I did install it not to long ago, and it did work just not as well. I wanted to make it work better, so I decided to do what I saw my buddy do to his air conditioner last night.
He drilled a hole in the bottom of his window A/C unit to let the water drain. And the A/C got colder. A LOT colder.
I drilled a hole in the bottom of my A/C unit, hoping for the same effect. The effect was punching a hole right in my coolant line.
Even though I was much cooler now that I was covered in freezing and probably cancer causing A/C coolant, that did NOTHING to improve my mood. Grumbling, I threw on a pair of shorts and and went out to my local Home Depot to buy an a/c unit with money I didn’t have.
Of course, in my haste I put on the pair of shorts that needs a belt to stay up, without actually using a belt.
And of course it takes two hands to carry a 60lb A/C box because I’m too stupid to get a cart.
And as my pants started sliding down my ass, I realized I was in trouble. I’m just glad that there was nobody nearby that would call the cops because I flashed them, intentionally or not.
Anyways, it takes a lot of work to carry an A/C unit in one hand and another on your shorts.
If there’s a lesson to be learned, it’s this: Don’t drill any fucking holes in your A/C unit, you moron.
Nuff said.
LOL I bet you looked like a long punk kid who just stole it and was holding his baggy shorts up. Did you at least sport some rad boxers?
I hope the new A/C works well for you. I spent a week with no A/C in hot AND humid Central Florida. Luckily, it rained that entire week and kept things semi-cool
dizzblnd’s last blog post..Friday funny and Gross funny shit bonus!
Canada has heat?!
Man…what will they think of next?
Wow Spaz…sounds like you spent a day in *my* life…it’s gotta be uphill from here…
Winky Twinky’s last blog post..Word Play Part I
Ugh! Sounds you had the day from hell. Good luck with the new a/c and stay cool.
Theresa’s last blog post..The Cone of Shame
Just do what I do and hang out in the fridge or steal the neighbours.
Meghan’s last blog post..The Legacy
That barber is a GENIUS.
Unlike you.
xoxo
Wow.
This was all kinds of funny. . . but mostly pity. Haha. ;]
Good post, and good luck with the new AC unit.
AD’s last blog post..The Miracle.
@Meghan
Lmao.
AD’s last blog post..The Miracle.
Stupidity is a wonderful teacher. I’m speaking, of course, as one of its best students.
Chris’s last blog post..Taco Milkshakes and a Side of Sour Cream
*wonders if drilling a hole in ones jaw would help get rid of a fever.*
C.B.Jones’s last blog post..For everything else, there’s bad karma.
Well, if anyone saw your shorts fall down, you could have replied that you were hot and airing out your junk and that’s why you bought the A/C unit, haha.
Foxglove’s last blog post..The King Pedophile Died
Spazzy – you always make me chuckle. Although next time you decide to drill a hole in something … check your shorts first!
Chris’s last blog post..Black shoes, jeans and chest hair