I know your secret, Batman
Dear Batman
That’s right Batman, I know your secret. You, that have been hiding in the shadows, skulking around like some flying rodent in the night, I’ve discovered the terrible shame you carry with you.
You thought you could get away with it, didn’t you? You thought that nobody could possibly find out. But you got sloppy, real sloppy, and now I know.
It started innocently enough. I’d see the Bat signal at odd times, times when there normally wouldn’t be any problems in the city. After a while my curiosity was piqued, and I started stalking you.
You heard me. I was stalking YOU. The master of the night, owner of the shadows. I stalked you and you had NO idea, because I’m all ninja like that.
I saw it the other night, Batman. The terrible shame you carry with you. I followed you to a small abandoned house out in the middle of nowhere. It was really easy too. Who knew Batman would have a white limo with a driver, but there it was.
I snuck around to the side of the building where I heard a series of grunts, but mostly shrill screams like you were stepping on the tail of a cat.
I craftily climbed in through the attic and shimmied through the rafters to see you and catwoman. Whatever you had just done, you were finished and I saw the both of you leave. When I got a closer look at the spot you two had just left, that’s how I discovered your secret. And batman, I have proof to show you that I know. Here it is:
That’s right. The fetus of the love child between you and catwoman left carelessly strewn on the carpet right next to your home made abortion kit.
You fucking bastard.
The picture above is not the original. I have the original. And if you want it to stay in my hands only, then you’ll ship your utility belt to the anonymous P.O. box address of which I will send you upon agreement.
I always wanted your utility belt. Oh, and that grappling gun thingy. That is SO cool!
Best regards,
Your creepy backstabbing admirer.
Whoa! The things you could DO with that utility belt! I’ll be eagerly awaiting the footage to be posted on Youtube.
I always wondered why Batman was considered a “Super Hero.” He has no powers, unless being a mega billionaire is considered power. But you don’t see Bill Gates running around in cape and tights. Ugghh! I’m blind now.
@Blonde Goddess
I can’t, because I’ll be another vigilante of the night. Except I’ll destroy things that bother me, like welfare lifers and liberals.
@LOTGK
Bill gates has tighty whiteys according to his favorite hooker, if that helps.
It’s a Shame. I would have liked to see a flying cat that could fight crime in my lifetime.
I bet Angelina showed up 5 minutes later and rescued the baby.
It’s so sad… (sniff)
@C.B.Jones
That would probably be the laziest super hero ever.
@chowner
I’d like Angelina’s boobs to rescue me!
@Winky Twinky
Not really. The baby was BUTT ugly!
This may be the most disturbing post you’ve ever written.
Spaz?! Ew…
Lolololol.
What the HELL?
You’re crazy, dude.
CRAZUH!
@John J Savo
Thank you. Now i have to top it.
@Theresa
whaaaaaaaa?
@AD
Yes. Yes I am.
“Your creepy backstabbing admirer.”
Copycat. That’s how I sign all my emails.
The contrast of the black cape on the white limo is invigorating. Thank you for filling my imagery cup today.
I had to read this post right before I go to bed tonight. Thanx.