The Mind of Spaz

There are certain people that shouldn’t run, ever.  They need to know they can’t run, and they should not run when they don’t need to.  As a matter of fact, if they are dumb enough to put themselves in the situation where they need to run, they should just die instead.

I said it. People who shouldn’t run should die instead of running. Yea, you heard me right.

I came to this conclusion today, at a cross walk in one of my local towns.  The rules are explicit and known at these crosswalks: Pedestrians first. Everyone knows that.  If a pedestrian puts the lights on the crosswalk, you come to a screeching halt or Constable Inbred will have you in jail.

And you do NOT want to be in Constable Inbreds jail.  Weird things happen in there.

So there I was, driving down the road to see the pedestrian lights come on. I stop, and I see Mulu the land manatee starting to cross the road.

She was HUGE! As wide as she was tall with a mug that even a walrus mother couldn’t love.  It was then it happened. For some reason she decided that she needed to hurry across the road. Why, I don’t know, it’s a narrow road, and nobody in this town was in a hurry, especially me, the municipal worker.

As it happened, Mulu was going free range under her shirt. That’s right boys, she was braless.  I don’t know if it is because she just doesn’t give a shit, or because her tits are just too big to be harnessed by anything man has yet created.

The resulting effect is her long, flat, 400 lb udders started bouncing.  They didn’t jiggle like normal boobs, they bounced. And with every tremendous step, they bounced higher and higher.

Thunder thighs built up quite some speed for her tremendous bulk, and did those udders ever get flying!

And by flying they started smacking her right in the face. That is NO joke.  Smack smack smack! Right in the face, SMACK!  And they would slap off her huge gunt too. SLAP SMACK. SLAP SMACK. SLAP SMACK.

And then she got to the other side of the road and the SLAP SMACK stopped as she slowly decelerated.

What. Five hundred pounds of woman can’t come to a stop from a full gallop right like that. I’m pretty sure the shock wave would destroy half of Ontario.

But I tell you, those kind of women sure can give you the stink eye when you’re laughing hysterically at them.

‘Nuff said.

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politically incorrect, social commentary boobs, fat woman, manatee