Doofus Texting
Sometimes you get a call from a wrong number. Last night I got a text from a wrong number. That’s the first time it’s happened, surpisingly. I mean, everybody texts now, so I figured it would happen sooner or later.
Just like wrong number phone calls, I decided to fuck with the texter. And he/she was kind enough to oblige me. Observe.
Doofus: Tell bob to call the house this is Dalls
Me: Yo momma
Doofus: Wat
Me: No you!
Doofus: Yes
Me: Maybe?
Doofus: Who is this!
Me: Yo Momma
Me: Can I have $5?
Doofus: When
Doofus: No
Doofus: Ok
Me: Do you still have the stuff?
Doofus: What stuff
Me: Don’t hold out on me
Me: You used all four bags?
Doofus: What dus that mean
Me: Shit. Now I really need that $5
Me: My ass itches!
Doofus: My dad side no
Me: $2?
Me: My o’henry has corn
Doofus: But i’m not going to give you 5$ or 2$
I actually got that last text the next morning. He/she/it didn’t text for a while so I got bored and went home to bed. I hope he/she/it texts again. That was fun, wouldn’t you say?
I likey the booooooobies!...
I’m jealous. I wanna fuck with some random retard texter like that.
God, do people really spell like that? Most people I end up texting to are at least literate.
Sad state of affairs, but I love how you jumped at the opportunity. Coincidentally, my most recent post is along those same lines…
@Chowner
Don’t worry my son. Your time will come.
@Chris
Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ, eh?
OMG! I’m still laughing. That text exchange was hilarious. Thanks for sharing that.
I’m still not giving you the $5.
I’m serious- “my o’henrey has corn” is the funniest thing I’ve heard it far too long.
You rule.
@Theresa
I hope to get even more absurd with the next one.
@moooooog35
50 cents?
@kim
I have to give credit to my friend tech-joe. You’ll see him commenting every now and again here – I believe he came up with that one.
Spaz!!! Can I have 5 dollars? 2 dollars? a french fry? and don’t tell me your Dad side no!