A use for Super Models
As of late I’ve been thinking of how to improve the world and make things better for my fellow man. Please see A use for the Morbidly Obese for an example of this. I don’t know why I now suddenly care after 31 years of being a complete jerkhole (yes, I came out of my mothers vaj a jerk, just ask the doctor I pee’d on).
Maybe it’s my old age, maybe I’m mellowing, I don’t know. I just care.
It’s not the super morbidly obese that has no use (until the war). No, it’s also the ultra impossibly skinny, AKA super models.
These girls starve themselves so much that at one time they may have been attractive, but come on guys. Who wants to fuck a toothpick? REAL women have hips, boobs, butts and thighs, which is a quality all of these super models lack.
As a matter of fact, super models look and are built like 12 year old boys. So who the fuck decided what was attractive in a woman, Micheal Jackson? Seriously.
So now you have a group of women who have no actual skills, are spoiled rotten with servants and bottled water and such, and have a physique that won’t allow them to pick up a Kleenex to blow their nose with. So what possible use do these women actually have?
I’ll tell you what. Weather kites.
That’s right. Instead of filling a balloon with helium and launching it into the heavens, just strap the instruments to their hollowed out stomachs and a string to the ankle, and launch them into the wind.
Because if you can train a monkey to open doors and put away the dishes, then you can train a super model to lean to the direction scientists want and relay pertinant information.
With an only semi dumb weather kite, it’ll be no time until scientists have enough information to accurately predict tornadoes and the such.
And the best part? A small bag of brown rice will feed these kites for YEARS.
Your welcome.
I likey the booooooobies!...
Admittedly, I kind of hated that post about the morbidly obese. It just seemed…*mean*.
But this one… Shit. I couldn’t help it. I laughed out loud.
Good stuff.
Oopsy! Sounds like Hannah may have a weight problem! Anyway, that bottled water will ruin the best of us. Most of the hair on my teeth came from an anorexic model. It was from the bottom of her feet. What a woman!
Red has hair on his teeth? OK, after that I can’t even concentrate enough to comment on your post.
Or maybe a “weather Kate”. As in Moss. Just sayin’.
@Hannah
Most normal chicks hate super models
@RedRaider
TMI Red. That’s why I love you
@Thinkinfyou
swooning are you?
@Chris
HA! Only on the north side of the tree, though.
I thought they were only useful as a toothpick for Yao Ming. I guess kites would be a suitable alternative.
i just find it plain old weird when models don’t have boobs.
It’s the truth. Marilyn Monroe, Jane Mansfield… both would be considered fat by today’s standards, and that’s just stupid. I agree with you. I picked a woman with boobs, butt and hips.
Either you’re a genius, or just plain evil… either way lets make use of those skinny bimbos and send them flying.
Excellent commentary my beloved jerkhole (I’m using that one by the way). As a member of the (not skinny) people, I couldn’t agree with you more. Laughed by beautifully not skinny butt off. Thanks!
It’s true! After all, you’d be putting to use the few things they do know…
“Left”, “right”, and “turn”!
@C.B.Jones
Yes, yes they would.
@Chowner
Yes, women should have boobs. Oh god, should they ever!
@John J Savo
Hell yes! How do you have fun without any of that?
@D.S.
I’m a bit of both.
@Theresa
My pleasure
@LiLu
Good point. You can help
Wait- what about weather stripping? They’d be perfect!
If fucking toothpicks is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
There…I put it in the right post this time.
That’s what she said.
OK. You are now a close to 2nd to Don from Beyond Left Field for being my idol. Super models = preteen boys. YES!! Plus, ever look at their faces? Yes, they DO have faces…which usually resemble horses. Look at Brady’s Gazelle or whatever the hell her name is. She’s a freakin’ horse face, but Pretty Boy Brady isn’t looking at her face. Yet.
Super models can also be weather sticks: Put them outside. If they’re wet, it’s raining. If they’re hair is blowing, it’s windy. On and on.