A height of lazy.
I did it. I went out and got a lap top. And nobody ever told me that laptops aren’t really supposed to go on your lap because they get hot.
But I’m lazy. I’m too lazy to get a heat protector or a table because why shouldn’t I sit in my recliner and compute WHILE I watch TV? I’m so lazy that the open, festering burns on my legs and my irradiated, glowing junk bother me not.
So there I am, with the laptop, watching T.V. and surfing the net. Now all I need is to build a shitter into the chair, and put a fridge beside me and I’ll never leave. Not even for work. Which might be unwise because they’ll cut off the electricity and water depriving me of the ability to T.V., compute, and flush. I like doing those things.
So this week I’m off on vacation. A family vacation. My sister lives in VA and once a year my mom, dad and I go down to visit her. It’s pretty slow as my sis lives in boring, American and my parents are old so require a lot of downtime. My hotel room will have free internet AND a TV so I can continue vegitating into nothingness. Sweet.
But I really am looking forward to seeing how well my WIFI card works on the way down there. Midget porn in Buffalo? Definately. Girl on girl action in Pensylvania? For sure. Maybe we’ll even overshoot VA and get to Georgia so I can pick up some “first cousins kissing” porn. Awesome. And the really kinky stuff will be surfed if I pick up any government or educational WIFI signals, just to fuck some people up.
See you all around.
I likey the booooooobies!...
This reminds me of the episode of South Park where the guys hole up in the basement playing some online game.
Dood! You will be leaving that chair. Timbit runs, the dreaded KFC run, fixins for Smores. You are going to be too damn busy foraging the supermarket to keep my bottomless belly filled!
Isn’t it a shame that the minute you get a laptop, and god was kind enough to give you a lap FOR that laptop, you have to spend time with family. If your WIFI works and you can’t find any porno, go to YOUPORN.com. It’ll give you giggles, shock you, or make you ill, but most of all it’ll make your family wonder about you.
@Vyolet
It’ll take hours of whining to get me to step foot in KFC. Also, I plan to leave the chair to go #2, unlike cartman. Unless you’d like to hold the bin for me?
Doesn’t the heat from the laptop render men sterile?
Hey, free birth control.
@dana
There are people without laps? Ok, point taken. Youporn? Please. I have a penis and am older than 13. OF COURSE I know what youporn is!
@A
As long as I can get it up I don’t care that my little swimmers are crispy
Glowing junk. Ha! You know, in certain dimly lit cir-cum-stances, that could be a very handy flashlight. Or fleshlight. It’d be really cool if it glowed brighter when you were near porn, like those Orc-detecting swords the hobbits had in Lord of the Rings. In your hands, though, I guess it’d be like a searchlight or something.
I live in Pennsylvania, the girl on girl action here is pretty low. I now gotta get to Georgia, thanks for the idea dude.
You had me until this:
“A family vacation”
Well i guess that’s it for me!! I must be the “lazy pimp” seeing as i was the one that picked up the laptop for you!!!
I love laptops, although I have to say the going rate of $20 is pretty steep considering you don’t even get a handy.
Oh.
You mean computers.
Nevermind.
I just put it on my lap anyway. I like the burn. Reminds me of college.
What?
FYI, gave you a shout out today. Not the normal kind. But is anything I do normal?
Leave it to the industry to come up with laptops that aren’t intended for laps. Now I suppose you’re gonna tell me earphones are designed to cover my nipples…
I need a chair like that. Even if they turned off the electricity I’d still sit it for convenience and comfort sake. If you’re in VA don’t they have a lot of sister on sister porn? or is that W.VA?
i love that you take boring vacations.
at least standing up once in a while will help
with the barcalounger and bed sores.
i’m glad you got the laptop though, otherwise
you’d be surfing porn at your parents house.
This is precisely why laptops were made. Now they have mini’s so i had to run out and get one.. my burns are now noticeably smaller!
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