The fat will save us all
To the few in our society who don’t bury their head in the sand, we know that the end is inevitable. Our world economy is unsustainable and will inevitably collapse under the weight of it’s own greed, decadence, and socialist retardation. And when that time comes, we’re going to be hungry.
But fear not! For among every storm cloud is a silver lining. The same decadence that makes so many morbidly obese will be the savoir for the people who want to survive.
Food will be scarce. For the first little while, the tough may have to resort to canabalism. And this is where the smart will act quickly. A little forthought will undeniably be the result in continued life.
Not following me? Let me explain.
A normal human being can survive for several weeks without food but only a few days without water. But what of our morbidly obese? They can only survive for several days without water but weeks, months, and maybe even years without food! Think about it.
Because the decadent morbidly obese will likely be the first to die because of their inability to do ANYTHING like find water, much less wipe their own ass’s, you need to round them up quickly. Put them in your basement and make sure they have plenty to drink.
They will stay fresh and edible for a long time and all you have to do is get them water. Plus, their fat can be rendered into such useful things as lamp and heating oil.
By the time you’re done with the lazy decadent, things may have settled down and you can get your food from such practices as farming and hunting.
It makes you look at the morbidly obese just a little differently now, doesn’t it.
He is just gross. How can anyone with self respect allow themselves to get in this situation?
@The Peach Tart
Well, it doesn’t happen over night. You don’t wake up looking like that.
Hold on a second!
Under that fifth belly fold…I think I see Jimmy Hoffa!
My four year old comes up to this photo, points and yells, “What’s that!” I reply, “Dinner” and he says, “Needs ketchup.”
God, sometimes the humor he picks up….
Brings a whole new meaning to the word “drumstick”.
Man, between you and Moog, I can’t decide who’s more twisted. I think you guys should get together and have a week-long “blog-off” so we can find out.
@moooooog35
And the rest of his union buddies?
@Becky..AMHW
He’s going to have a blog like mine someday. does that scare you?
@LiLu
That could feed a third world country for a day?
@Chris@Maugeritaville
That would involve degeneration’s of the fourth kind. I don’t know what that means.
that sounds great in theory, spaz, but it won’t work. for one, i don’t have a basement. for two, i’m vegetarian. and three, the guy in your photo wouldn’t fit in my little honda.
back to the drawing board.
the worst is that man is MARRIED! *faints*
http://www.break.com/index/sexy-new-my-humps-dance-routine.html
you’re welcome!
Hmm. That lump on his leg will keep my house lit for YEARS… Sweet!
Fat Man Lamp Oil. Yeah.
Ishmael: “How it is I know not; but there is no place like a bed for confidential disclosures between friends. Man and wife, they say, there open the very bottom of their souls to each other; and some old couples often lie and chat over old times till nearly morning. Thus, then, in our hearts’ honeymoon, lay I and Queequeg—a cosy, loving pair.”
Queequeg: “Mmmff! Mmmff! I can’t bffffwth!”
- Moby Dick, Herman Melville
grocery shopping is a lazy alternative to harpooning?
Did you know that guy lost several hundred pounds…and then died? There you go…
Aw Fuck. Do I have to eat the weird brown scabby spots?
those who most need a bra
too seldom wear them.
His boobs are bigger than mine. At least until I make the fat into a nice lava lamp for the bedroom.
PLUS, think of all the old Cheetos, ham sandwiches and forgotten meatloaf slices you would find in the folds of fat!!!