The mystery of big fat chicks with skinny little boyfriends
Why is it that I see big huge fat chicks walking around with skinny little boyfriends? Seriously. Three out of five big fat chicks have skinny little boyfriends. What’s up with that? Does it make sense? I mean, the chick can NEVER be on top otherwise she’d crush her boyfriend.
I knew this one chick in college. We’ll call her fatty too fats to protect her identity. Anyways, fatty had two boyfriends, and they both looked EXACTLY like each other. Five foot sixish, 97lbs, looked like a bird. And fatty, well, she would break a sweat getting off the couch to retrieve herself another bucket of ice cream. Or KFC. Or KFC dipped in ice cream. Whatever. We lost the one guy one day, he didn’t show for MONTHS and he finally called. We figured he’d lost himself under her giant flabby left boob and had finally found his cell phone.
So if you’re a bit fat chick, for what use could be a skinny little boyfriend? Let’s see:
- He’s small enough to help you clean under your folds
- If he doesn’t want to clean under your folds, wet his hair and use him like a mop for fat. What’s he gonna do, fight back? You’d snap him in half.
- Crawling in there and finding the wet spot.
- Catching your crumbs as they fall. Skinny guys need to eat too.
- Picking up after you, because you can’t bend over yourself.
- Tying your shoe laces
- You can carry him in your purse like Paris Hilton’s dog.
And if you’re a skinny little guy, what is the benefit of dating a hephalump? Let’s see:
- Protection. You’re a skinny little shit.
So let’s here it for the huge fat chick/skinny guy thing! Awesome.
I likey the booooooobies!...
2. The more the cushion, the better the pushin’!!!
If you squint, you can almost see Where’s Waldo in that pic.
Wow, you reeeeeaaaally hate fat people, dontcha?
ewwwww. Eww Eww Eww. I just spit out a mouth full of cheese. ewwwww. hahaha. love it though.
@MadMadMargo
Never thought of that one
@C.B. Jones
Almost, I think he’s hiding in a cellulite crater.
@KrisAKAJaney
Just the morbidly obese, and it’s a “how the FUCK do you let yourself get like that and why did 50% of America do it?”
@carissajaded
Hey, so did the skinny boyfriend after he went downtown
I’m serious, Spaz, you and Moog need to dedicate one week to a best three out of five “who can write a more disgusting post” contest. Monday through Friday, one post each, head to head.
I’d be happy to adjudicate. I think.
They’ll start breeding them in hypo allergenic soon.
mike, you’re going to die in hell.
you know that, don’t you. you’ll be
the only skinny guy amongst all the pitchfork
wielding, full-figured devil women and
you’ll love every eternal minute of it.
The day you don’t write about fat people is the day I take shelter underground.
Because at that point I’m assuming the Apocalypse is upon us.
Another reason little men like fat women: Anywhere they stick their dicks feels like a vagina. Between belly flab. Between ANYTHING!! As long as they don’t actually try to FIND the real thing……..they go in, but they’re never heard from again.
“crawl in and find the wet spot”?
dirty boy.
@MadMadMargo
more cushion for the pushen, and being heavy doesnt mean, they the men that is,dont like what they got for the right reasons, cuz my man does! and younger than i, and able and finds the right spots with out a problem! and loves what he has,im 11yrs older, and at 245lbs and losing, so ha ha to you skinny chicks whom think they got it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Dana
not so true my oldman finds the right spots, and thensome,he accually has a thing,he loves maken me cum and cum a turn on for him . so ha, what ever floats your boat there! dana sept 30,2009