And my Balls…
…don’t hurt any more. Thank the many armed gods. Of course, that’s probably due to the fact I can’t feel them at all.
Yes, they are still there. There hasn’t been any raging man like feminists that have been so angered by my insensitive Nazi like blog comments they came and ripped it off in one massive bite from a disgusting unwashed mouth with beard stubble.
Shit, disgusting man like unwashed lesbian women with beards. Add the words ‘morbid’ and ‘obese’ and I think I just gave myself a boner. Which I also would not be able to feel.
You see, it’s October in Canada and my furnace decided not to start up this season.
For all of you south of the 49th, that doesn’t seem like a big deal. Except that my house is like 9 degrees and dropping, which is giving me a case of blue balls, blue hands, and blue everything else.
Which probably means as soon as I get heat again, my balls will drop off from whatever disease is afflicting them. Fucking balls. You women think it’s horrible to bleed for 5 days a month, well, try wearing your gonads on the outside of your body.
Women, seriously, try it. Get a couple of kiwi fruits and a hot dog and glue it onto your hoo haw and see how it feels (*If you’re black, you’ll need two large sized granny smith apples and a foot long sausage).
Can’t find a comfortable place for it to rest ladies? Let me let you in on a little secret. THERE IS NO COMFORTABLE PLACE. It’s like god really did make man genitals as an after thought. He probably got drunk and gave the wiener and peas to his retarded angel Effrum who picked the location with a demented game of “pin the nards on the man animal”.
And while you’re trying to find a place to put your new prosthetic, you WILL be touching yourself a lot. And in public. And now you know why. So ease up, ok?
On the subject of easing up, balls are VERY sensitive. Your gonads are deep within your body, protected by organs, muscle, skin, and a bit of fat. Sometimes, by a lot of at. If your gonads were dangling out of your body you’d understand how just a tiny little slap can have BIG pain repercussions.
Jumping off something without being prepared? Ever seen those devices on a corporate desk, the little swingset with the balls hanging from it? And when you lift one ball it hits the others and causes a chain reaction? Yea, that’s what happens with ours and it HURTS.
Shit, I’ve seemed to get some feeling back into my testes. They hurt again. Mother fucker.
I likey the booooooobies!...
Sorry the balls bother you bro’. Truly I am. It’s so hot in the summer here that when I go swimming the balls don’t shrivel up. They kind of float to the top and rest there for awhile. Ball pain is worse than labor pain. I heard my ex wife screaming when she was in labor, and believe me, I screamed a lot louder than that when I had a bike wreck going down hill!
Sweetie you need a kiss.
There’s no pain like nut pain, my friend.
I’d give just about anything to have balls and a big long dick hanging down there for a day so I had an inkling of what it is like to be a guy. And I’m happy to loan out my boobs and vagina to any guy who wants to know what it’s like to be a woman. I’ll even make sure it’s during the time when chocolate is not only a necessity and a birthright but necessary to prevent mass murder.
i thought beans and franks withdrew in cold weather,
kinda went inside you somehow, like burrowing ferrets.
@RedRaider
Labor is ovverated. Women only have to do it a few times and they get drugs. Where is our drugs!
@JenJen
Not by above referenced lesbian, I hope
@Knucklehead!
You got that right.
@Jen
Lots of men have boobs already
@Seraphine
Only if you’re oriental. Otherwise, they’re big enough to stay outside for the most part
Damn. And it was cold last night too. Hot water bottle, maybe?
Talking about your balls makes menstruation sound like a fucking cakewalk.
Where I live this doesn’t happen often. But when it does, I think mine crawl up until they’re somewhere in my throat.
@A
Nah, that’s what the dog is for.
@KrisAKAJaney
THANK YOU!
@Dr. Grumpy
Second set of tonsils? If you go for a tonsillectomy, you’re in trouble my friend.
Try taking your motorcycle to work on a 34 degree morning because you live in a part of the country that has snow 4 months out of the year so you want to squeeze every last minute of riding time out.
Your balls hurt?
Boo hoo.
I’ll let you know what mine feel like when I find them.
@moooooog35
Two things:
1) I thought bikers were supposed to be tough
2) Isn’t your nickname “Acorn” anyways?
Maybe “Sunggie” will come out with something special for you guys. It will be snug AND cradle. They do Dog snuggies now, so you can always hope.
Maybe you can get someone to knit you a ball warmer