Electronic Penis Extension
I have this friend. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you may have seen him in the comments section referring to himself as Tech Joe.
Tech Joe isn’t just any technician. He’s a computer tech and a damned good one at that. He rarely doesn’t know an answer and if he does it takes him minutes to find one. More importantly, he’s my fat person wing man and he introduced me to the phenomenons of NO YOU! and drive by clucking. We’ll cover those later.
Tech Joe made three mistakes in life. Firstly, he married. Secondly, he stuck his dick in her once. Thirdly, he stuck his dick in her a second time. This resulted in two children and a screaming wife. Or is it two screaming children and a wife?
What happened next was horror and hell for poor Tech Joe: He wasn’t able to upgrade his computer for seven years.
This is virtual suicide to a computer nerd.
He watched his friends upgrade their computers again and again, able to play all the newest games while he was busy doing laundry, changing diapers and building computers for OTHERS to play games, but not him. No, not for him.
And then something happened. Something wonderful and magical happened for him.
You see, the kids are a tad older, the wife only yells at him three times a day, and his job now pays him well.
And so, Mr. Computer tech went out and got himself an electronic penis extension.
I googled “electronic penis extension” and decided none of the pictures were safe for work. You can do that on your own time.
Now, Tech Joes friends all had computers that could play the latest games, but only just so. Money said that they had to get a machine that could only do the job, not do the job well. It’s kind of like getting a Ford Tempo: It’ll get you there, but not nearly as fun as the Mustang you really wanted.
Joe’s computer is the mustang.
And I, for one, and jealous.
Go enjoy your extra 12″ Tech Joe, you’ve earned them.
Good for Joe, I guess. I still want to hear more about drive by clucking.
Extra 12″?
That’s so gross and offensive.
Lucky bastard.
Thanks for the post directed at me.. However after setting up the machine last night and trying out a few games on it i would say Mustang is an under statement. A few slightly better choices would probably be Ferrari, Koenigsegg, F14 Tomcat or even perhaps something that could possibly launch itself into space. The only reason i even say that is i myself underestimated the system. I knew it was going to be good but Mike just wait until you play on it. I was completely blown away by its capabilities last night!
@Knucklehead!
Drive by clucking will be for another day.
@JenJen
You’re jealous?
@Ed Adams
I tell you
@TechJoe
I can launch myself into space with my ass after I eat currie.
Yes but sorry to break it to yah neither one of us are that attractive..
I think most people would choose the damn computer over us.. Hell I’d choose the computer over me..
Oh and NO YOU!!
some people put bread into their meatloaf as an ‘extender’
which is another reason i’m glad to be a vegetarian.
oh. before i forget. happy thanksgiving, mike.
I’m sooooo jealous…
Of the computer.
Mine does the job, but it overheats and the power cord is going bad…wtf…I have to hold it just so to get it to charge.
But Money says deal with it…
God yes….
I’ve got a Mac…a big Mac.