What the Hell?
Maybe it’s Karma. Maybe I shouldn’t have made fun of those people. Maybe because turning 32 means I’m old and my body wanted to prove it. Maybe I am human after all. Whatever the case is, I was sick this weekend.
Sure, it was just a cold and it only lasted for a couple of days. But I’m almost never sick so it caught me by surprise.
At first I thought it was because I’m allergic to Tech Joes pussy. His pussy was rubbing all up against me and just wouldn’t leave me alone. I told him to get his pussy away from me but it just kept rubbing and rubbing and making the WEIRDEST noises.
I’m allergic to cats. Also, I hate them. They are useless. No wonder I enjoy Chinese food so much.
It became clear the next morning when I woke up that it wasn’t Joes Pussy, because there is no pussy in my house. Unfortunately. Something was leaking from my nose, and my throat hurt. Which is weird, because I usually am not able to injure myself on the inside from my own stupidity. I don’t remember hitting myself in the throat.
I logged onto the computer, and searched for “help, my nose is leaking”. I found this:
AHA! I need to go to a mechanic! So off I went. He laughed at me. So I asked him where the human mechanics were. That’s how I ended up at the drug store.
By this time my nose had leaked all over my shirt and pants. It looked like a frigging ghostbuster or something. Everyone was staring at me while I walked up to the pharmiscist. I told her that my nose was leaking, how did I get it to stop?
Long story short, I ended up with something called “Kleenex” and something else called “Nyquil”. And now I’m better.
Thank you all for your concern.
I likey the booooooobies!...
Glad you’re on the mend Spaz.
Oh yeah….
FIRST!
Well, technically second now, but first with my last comment.
For sure colds are difficult to deal with. Especially when you don’t know what Kleenex and NyQuil are. I’m surprised you knew what a cold was. If you start to squeal and grunt then you have swine flu. If you feel like committing suicide but have no strength to fall on a knife, you have seasonal flu. Remember…learn. Why do I say these things? Because I care.
32? HA! I laugh at 32.
Actually,
I look back at thirty two. 36 can piss off.
@Ed Adams
That would be more impressive on a popular blog
@RedRaider
No suicide, no squealing, so it must be the bubonic plague?
@JenJen
Yet, I still have more years ahead of me than behind me. Damnit!
Ah yes, Nyquil. The coughing, sneezing, sniffling, aching, how-the-hell-did-I-get-on-the-kitchen-floor medicine.
All I know is that Karma owes me an awful lot. She better pay up!!!
Well, my blog roll starts anew tomorrow. I’d be honored if you participate again in 2010. Leave a comment and you’re on the blog roll! Thanks for visiting and commenting in 2009.
I do not remember 32…
Kleenex an Nyquil – the greatest cure-all combo…
Were you high on Nyquil when writing this? Just curious
Fuck all y’all with the wahhhh, I’m 32 and sooooo oooold…. I am about to embark on my last year of my 30′s AND I DO NOT LIKE IT. I mean, I’m still hot and shit, but 40 is just that much closer to 50.
Also, Spaz? About your phlegm? That’s snot funny.
HAHAHAA!!!
Then one day you will find this thing called Zicam in the dissolvable pill form that will make you feel better almost instantaneously.
tip: when you turn 50, all your body parts will start falling off. Be sure and pull a little red wagon behind you at all times.
I find the Nyquil works best when mixed with copious amounts of booze.
Just me?
Did the mechanic charge you for the referral?
Damn dude you really need to take an asprin or something…stronger.
Like Clorox.