My MSN Slut
Apparently, pornography is a BIG thing on the internet. I had no idea. Seriously. They put NAKED WOMEN doing SEX ACTS on the internet. And apparently it’s big business.
Thanks Quagmire. Nice bicep.
Anyways, it just so happened the other night a girl added herself to my MSN. Now, I know what your thinking. Your thinking, ‘Girls want to talk to Spaz???’ And you’re right, I’m surprised as you are. But there it was, her name was Catharine, and apparently, she was an automated PORNO bot. Not the good kind of porno bot I hear about on Howard Stern, the one that’s anatomically correct and never says a word (oh bliss), but I think she was trying to sell me porno. Anyways, I saved the transcripts. Her slutty ass hyperlinks are omitted. You can find them for yourselves, pervs.
Mike says:
Hi. Who are you?
Catherine says:
hi
hi how are you today?
Mike says:
good, do i know you?
Catherine says:
my name is kaylee I’m doing great today I’m 21 yrs old how old are you?
(note: porno people aren’t noted for their big ‘brains’. Catherine, or should I say, kaylee)
Mike says:
you are a bot aren’t you
Catherine says:
listen hun, I am just about to start my webcam show with jen, come chat me there in my chat room? We can cyber, I will get naked if u do..lol!
Mike says:
well i was thinking, instead of paying you to get naked, how about I pay you to keep your clothes on?
maybe do some secretarial work for me
I need some stuff filed
Catherine says:
I can show u how to watch free if u promise not to tell anyone else how to do it???PLEASE
Mike says:
How many times have you had Chlamydia? That’s important.
Catherine says:
well since its free the law that u gotta be 18 (nudity involved), u have to sign up with a credit card for age verification! BUT .. Once you are inside, just clikc on “Webcams” let me know what name you use to sign in with so I know it is you babe! (pervy link deleted) fill out the bottom of the page then fill out the next page as well and u can see me live for free!
Mike says:
Do you houseclean?
if i was to give you some money
you know
would you clean my house?
Catherine says:
Please dont mention anything about that in the chatroom once u get in ok?
Mike says:
So you DO clean house!
Make sure there’s no dust on top of the fridge or I might beat you
haha!
just kidding about the beating
but really
no dust
Catherine says:
OH SHIT.. k I am late to start my show, I gotta get off msn…I will see ya inside my chatroom babe.. remember not to mention that I am upgrading u for free… You can use your msn name to sign in so i know it is you..
Mike says:
Yea I don’t do fecal stuff
Catherine says:
AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my free webcam show if you want to watch click the link (link deleted, get your own porn pervs).
Whew! I thought it was only me. I wondered why this sudden bevy of internet girls on MSN were coming from. And they all kept finding me so I thought I was Mr. Popular for a minute. Lol.
Yeah, I too tried talking with the bots often to see if they were scripted enough to respond with something else but they all follow the similar script.
Good post!
Dave Wills´s last blog ..Honorable Mention
I bet if you showed up, you would get a glass of lemonade and an interview with Chris Hansen. I’ll be watching for you on To Catch a Predator.
Nikki´s last blog ..La Rustica
ok. Just for the record: It was NOT ME, the Jen. K.. *looks around and whistles….*
Jen´s last blog ..Public Service Announcement #6: Say NO to the Lawn Ornament
@Dave Wills
The only cool bot is the god one. Google it.
@Nikki
Ew, gross. Sorry to disappoint, but I like my women of age and consensual.
@Jen
That’s fine. You can still do some filing and clean my house
I’ll bet in real-life Kaylee works for the former Finance Minister of Nigeria.
Hi My name is Kate. I have a webcam, and for the low-low price of $9.99 per day you can watch me do dirty stuff online…
I will show my gorrrrrgeous bosom in my sexy duckie pyjamas while I clean the plughole in the shower.mmmmmmm…
Just log on to http://bighairymendotcom and watch me play (Monopoly)with myself
remember; this offer is just for YOU, *insertclientnamehere*.
Go on, I’ll be waiting (for that big fat check)!
xx
Susie Q´s last blog ..Awkward Wednesdays: Job interview
@Colonel Colonel
Or working up to that.
@Susie Q
Hot. I’ll give you my bank account number.
You ever get that liquid butt stuff on your hands? I have. Yeah…ewww.
Do you know they have male ones too? Its oddly disturbing having a manbot offer to do dirty things on a webcam for you…..