The Mind of Spaz

Why? Because fuck you, that’s why!

politically incorrect

I was bored this weekend, so I was watching TLC or whatever that is. I think it should be renamed to the women’s network number 2 but whatever.

Anyways they were doing this special on midgets or little people, which is the politically correct term of the day (who knows what tomorrow will bring).

One of the midgets was called a “primordial dwarf”, which basically means the kid was like 2.5 feet tall but was proportioned properly, which meant he weight something around 22 pounds. Just a wee little thing with a voice like helium! I wanted to steal him and sit him on top of a pot of gold and shine a rainbow light on him, but I digress.

So this little dwarf thing went swimming. While he was 2.5 feet tall and weight in at 22 pounds, he had, get this – normal sized nipples.

Can you imagine what normal sized nipples look like on a 22 pound man? HAHAHAHA omgomg it was so FUNNY!

Seriously! It was like two giant pieces of pepperoni on a tiny panzerotti! HAHAHA!

I’m so going to hell.

politically incorrect

Don’t piss off fast food workers. Usually they are young and disrespectful, and if they are lifers, possibly old and bitter. They get paid minimum wage and have no fear of getting fired for retribution. Case in point:

politically incorrect, rant, social commentary, talking out of my ass

Anyone who has a child can tell you that she outgrows everything so fast. Toys that were fun only a little while ago are way too babyish for her now. So, I have researched some toys that will start off being a fun imagination filled thing as a little one, but will also be enjoyed by her well into adulthood.  Parents, you’re welcome.

Vibrating Pillow:

Sassy Vibrating Teether:

Vibrating Strap:

Vibrating Snake:

Vibrating Motorized Pen:

Vibrating Teddy Bear:

This will save you THOUSANDS of dollars guaranteed. TIP: After puberty invest in rechargeable batteries to keep your savings.

That is all.

politically incorrect, talking out of my ass

Yes, I have completed my third masterpiece on the really bad speed art! This latest one is all about Mona Lisa’s smile. And you know, if you repost these, like them, favorite them, facebook them, I will take your request. Consider yourself Warned.

Parody, politically incorrect, shameless promotion