Point being, I firmly believe our modern first world society has hit its peak and has been in decline for 40 years at least. History speaks that societies end before new ones begin, and more often then not it’s a violent ending. Ours will be no different.

Ok, so the world might end. Am I dumb to be a little paranoid? Most people say yes, but pardon my french, those are the people who are going to die. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA naysayer! DIE! DIE DIE DIE!!!

Whatever. See, the thing is, being prepared for something that won’t happen is way better than not being prepared for something if it does.

So here’s the thing to think about. Think about it good. When you turn on the tap and water comes out, do you ever think about what it takes to make that happen? How about when your furnace comes on? Or when you drive somewhere in your car? Or what it takes to keep a fresh and stocked grocery store? Have you ever thought of what would happen if all those were taken away?

Most people don’t. Which is why if and when something bad happens, longer than three days, people will be totally and completely lost. When that happens, friends and neighbors will no longer be friends and neighbors, because it’ll be you and yours. That’s all that will matter.

This is why end of the world experts say one of the most important things you need to have are weapons. Because in the face of death, your neighbors will have no problem killing you over a can of spaghettios, because that can will keep them alive for another few days. This is what desperation breeds. Don’t believe me? I don’t care. It wasn’t me that said it but it makes complete logical sense. I plan to be prepared enough (I hope) that I don’t need to kill anyone over Chef Boy R Dee, but I’ll be damned if anyone’s taking my Ravioli!

The other thing is that the city is the LAST place you want to be when complete chaos erupts. It takes thousands of tonnes of food and things running into a city on a daily basis to keep it running. That’s cut off, and the city starves very quickly. Then you have a vast population stuck in a small surface area competing for meager resources. See the note above. SO. One of my favorite hobbies is interior camping. I have most of the equipment I need to set up a camp. I’ll have the weapons to get me some game and hopefully I can make a go of it.

Lastly, WATER.  Water is one of the most important considerations you can make. I wrote an article on my other website, The Truth of Water.  Click Here to read how to be prepared for water shortages.

I really don’t know everything and even if I did it’s still a crap shoot. This is why I’m reading up on the subject, and you should too.

Here’s how I sum it up. Paranoia won’t cost you too much except a bit of money and a corner of your basement for the equipment. Be prepared and know how to act and if it ever does happen, act on it. Your job, OUR job, is to survive long enough for the chaos to die down, the idiots who are going to die, die (and there will be a lot of them). Once that all happens, I firmly believe the more intelligent of us who did survive will band together in small groups, setting up small communities and letting the strengths of numbers take over to build a new life.

Anyone that wants to come with me, make sure you have a pack and your survival gear. If you’re a good looking woman between the ages of 27 and 38, you are more than welcome to share my tent.

/end paranoia!

This year for my birthday, I’m going to solve two problems. Well, I’m going to lesser the burden on a couple of problems.

In many countries around the world, Military service is mandatory. Usually at age 18, you are required to provide two or more years of mandatory military service.

Well, I propose we introduce a similar concept in North America, but it won’t be military service.

It’ll be exercise service.

You see, every able bodied citizen MUST commit to at least 1 hour a week of riding a stationary bicycle.

But it won’t be just any stationary bicycle. The bicycle will be attached to a power generator.

Yes, ever person will be required to pump cycle power back into the grid for a least one hour a week.

This will not only reduce our dependance on fossil fuels, it will perhaps take the edge of North Americas morbid obesity problem. Maybe.

Think it’s a good idea? Pass it around. Maybe it’ll be the next green movement.

Not to long after graduating college, I was working for barely over minimum wage for maximum hours. There was a little cafe near work I’d visit once or twice a week – so long in fact that they knew me by name and knew what I wanted. One day after being served I had finished my meal, and walked out, forgetting to pay. The next time I was there I told the cashier to charge me double because I’d forgotten to pay last time. She looked at me like I was some sort of alien. Why would I not want a free meal? I didn’t understand. I owed the restaurant money and a simple meal worth less than $5 made me lose sleep. I didn’t feel right until I paid.

Just the other week I was picking up some things for a BBQ at a friends. I was watching the cashier ring things through, and she forgot to ring in the butter tarts. I told her that she had forgotten them. She thanked me profusely, like being honest needs thanks these days? The lady behind me looked like I was a retard for mentioning it. What the hell am I supposed to gain for some free $3.00 butter tarts?

Here’s what I’ve learned from life. If you’re the nice guy, you don’t get ahead. If you’re the nice guy, people only keep you around because you are useful. If you’re the nice guy, the opposite sex will never go for you because apparently, being treated like shit is what they love. At least that’s what they’ll spend hours complaining to you about, because you’re the nice guy. You listen.

You only get ahead in life if you take the free oil changes, the free meals, and the free butter tarts. If you’re reliable, dependable and honest, your career will suffer, your social life will suffer, and almost everybody will use you.

To be frank, there are only two people on this planet that I’m not related to that give as much as they take. I only have two real friends, and I’ll take them.

So that’s the lesson here, kiddies. If you are young and you find yourself being nice and honest, stop it. Stop it right fucking now. Because you’ll have a shitty low end job and a shitty social life and you’ll be used and used and abused by everyone because THEY CAN. Be an arse, it’s better.

If I was to show you an apple, you’d all say it was an apple right?

I have a penis between my legs. I’m a boy.

If I had a vagina between my legs, I’d be a girl.

Some people are fucking stupid. I really don’t care if you want to hurt your own damned selves, but when you involve other, innocent people it takes it to another level. Especially with children.

And I can’t see ANY psychological problems coming from this, at all. None whatsoever.  I’m sure the kid won’t be made fun of or belittled in any way, and the kid CERTAINLY won’t be confused!

Effing retarded parents!

In light of the upcoming election, I did a satire video entitled “The Real Reason for the 2011 Canadian Election“.

Click the link above and view it. Check out the awesome crazy lady who left an awesome crazy lady response.

For anyone who doesn’t understand this, the lefties have even better crazies than the right winged people. Oh so fun to make fun of. Which is what I’ve done.

Presenting! Dramatic Reading of YouTube Comment!!!!!! I left the link for the video right on the crazy persons YouTube profile. I hope she enjoys viewing it as much as I enjoyed making it.

This also applies to female dogs. Observe.

It was a long line so there was some waiting to be done. And that’s when it happened. They started hitting on me.

I have two questions.

1) What would obvious bull dyke lesbians want with me? Did they want to experiment in a threesome (barf)? Did they target me as a possible donor of decent quality genetic material because I’m not morbidly obese, I have no obvious (physical) defects and I wear glasses so they figured I’m smart? What?

2) Why can’t it be decent looking lesbians that hit on me? Why do all lipstick lesbians have to be aloof bitches? Why do most straight good looking women have to be so? For that matter, why do normal looking girls have to have such high standards because they saw a normal looking girl with a really hot guy once? For that matter, why do good looking guys have to sometimes date normal looking women so that normal looking women see this and then would rather play with a vibrator than date normal looking guys because now they THINK they can get a Johnny Depp?

So basically what I’m saying is WHAT DID THE LESBIANS WANT!!!!

You ever run into someone so stupid that it would make you think twice about the validity of eugenics?

So, here is what happened:

1. A stupidhead cheats at an online game by installing illegal hacks on his computer (a hack is a program that ‘cheats’ for you)
2. Said stupid head got caught cheating
3. The manner in which he was caught was another, legit player, trying to keep the game clean, recorded him cheating and uploaded it to youtube.
4. The game developer saw the videos, agreed it was cheating and banned him
5. Said stupidhead denies cheating, regardless of a video favorited on his youtube account entitled “How to Hack in Combat Arms”
6. Banned player threatens to sue other person for posting things that he puts in the public domain.

Pure, pure comedy.

Click here to read more about this stupidhead and his stupid ways and his freakouts it’s gold if you like gaming or combat arms or even just like reading about stupid idiots I promise.

Do me a favour. We’ve been spinning our damned wheels for over half a decade with a hog-tied minority government. Just give the conservatives those extra 3 seats they need for a majority, let them do the job of pulling the country back right from the too-far-left we are now, then vote them out in 5 years when they become complacent. Ok?