The Mind of Spaz

I just got back from the states and what do I find? An awesome Harley dood that whips his beard hair! In the wind! He lets the wind whip his beard hair back and forth! Of course I got video. From my cell phone but it’s better than me describing it because frankly, I suck.

social commentary, talking out of my ass

Ok guys, THIS is funny.

You ever run into someone so stupid that it would make you think twice about the validity of eugenics?

So, here is what happened:

1. A stupidhead cheats at an online game by installing illegal hacks on his computer (a hack is a program that ‘cheats’ for you)
2. Said stupid head got caught cheating
3. The manner in which he was caught was another, legit player, trying to keep the game clean, recorded him cheating and uploaded it to youtube.
4. The game developer saw the videos, agreed it was cheating and banned him
5. Said stupidhead denies cheating, regardless of a video favorited on his youtube account entitled “How to Hack in Combat Arms”
6. Banned player threatens to sue other person for posting things that he puts in the public domain.

Pure, pure comedy.

Click here to read more about this stupidhead and his stupid ways and his freakouts it’s gold if you like gaming or combat arms or even just like reading about stupid idiots I promise.

rant, shameless promotion, social commentary

Sorry, this is political today. I’ve prepared a video showing the REAL reason we’re having yet ANOTHER damned Federal election.

Do me a favour. We’ve been spinning our damned wheels for over half a decade with a hog-tied minority government. Just give the conservatives those extra 3 seats they need for a majority, let them do the job of pulling the country back right from the too-far-left we are now, then vote them out in 5 years when they become complacent. Ok?

rant, social commentary

So this youtube sensation, Rebecca Black Friday. What the hell is this crap? It’s got to be the worst song I’ve ever heard in my entire life. It’s made Justin Bieber acceptable to me. Well.

For those few who actually like it, and don’t understand where the naysayers are coming from, I’ve prepared a vid for you, just so you understand what it sounds like to us adults.

You’re welcome.

Parody, politically incorrect, rant, social commentary

I have debated talking about this, because it might ‘appear’ racist. But then I thought three things:

1. I talked about Vagiant, so I should talk about this in fairness
2. It might be construed as racist, but frankly I hate everyone equally including myself, so fuck it, and
3. It is based entirely on two of my personal observations.

Just like there can be loose vagina’s, so can there be small penis’s.  While I don’t claim to have a massive member, according to the Internet my schlong is at least average, if not a little more. If you’re a guy and you haven’t ever measured and googled average penis size, you’re lying. Or gay. Or you don’t have a penis due to a horrible horrible circumcision incident (don’t get your kids cut, OK?).

Now, everybody has heard the rumours.  Oriental men have small wangs on average. I’m not one to believe in bullshit gossip that I haven’t manufactured myself, so I let it go until one day in the gym locker room.

There I was in the gym locker room, sitting on a bench tying my shoe, when I THOUGHT I saw a naked woman go by. Why did I think it was  woman? Because my eyes were at crotch height and all I saw was this MASSIVE bush. So I’m thinking, is she hot? Can I take her to a stall and bang her? Then I looked up and I realized, this LOOKED like a guy. I looked down again and yes, there it was, hiding in the massive bush of hair. A little teeny tiny thing. A little acorn. A little acorn in the bush. That’s what it looked like, an acorn in the bush.

To be fair, I’m not gay, I don’t look at penis’s as a habit, and this is only one penis from one man. If you can call it a penis. But there’s something that makes me think it might be true, and that thing is Japanese porn.

Now, if you take away all the weird Japanese porn stuff, the tentacles, the shitting tables, etc., you’ll notice that the men have average sized penis’s, at least from my perspective. Then a thought hit me: In North American porn, all the men have HUGE HUGE HUGE dongs. Giant things that should belong to a donkey or a horse, attached to a perverted man with too much chest hair and gold teeth, breaking open the butt of some perverted slut with fake boobs and peroxide hair.

What I’m saying is, if the North Americans choose only their most well hung males for pornography, don’t you think the Japanese would do the same?

If the Japanese do only choose their most well hung males, why, they aren’t any bigger than me!

So that has me thinking. Maybe I want to go to Japan. Maybe I want to be the lust of every female. But if all this is true, I won’t even be able to get it in, it’ll be like having sex with a virgin.

Hmm. I don’t know. But if do drop your trousers, see an acorn in the bush, and want a shot with a vagiant, you might need some pills. That’s all I’m saying.

politically incorrect, social commentary, talking out of my ass