Really Bad Speed Art #2
June 28th, 2011
I want everybody with a youtube account to like, and add this vid to their favorites! Please pretty please? This is my #2 in the Really Bad Speed Art Series!
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Help your Spaz, vote for Doritos!
February 11th, 2011
I need your help gentle folk. Spaz entered himself into a contest and you need to go HERE and vote for him!
http://www.writetheend.ca/en/gallery/A/7666/
What is this all about? Well, we can view the commercial!
And guess who wrote an ending. That’s right, I did! I need your votes to help me win maybe! $25,000 and 1% of this chips sales is a lot of cornhole, my friends.
Once again, go here and vote, and if you do, I will love you forever and maybe send you some Doritos (if I win).
Nerd Alert!
January 12th, 2011
I was going to post some horseshit about some french saying that I thought meant one thing but actually means “you’re a slut” and got me in trouble and such, but whatever.
I found some AWESOME youtube video. While I normally would never post a youtube video I didn’t make myself, or use in reference to a long winded post I can’t be arsed to write any more, I’m posting one today.
If ANYBODY was nerdy enough to enjoy the Star Trek Voyager series, HAHAHAHAHA! OMG OMG this is the FUNNIEST fucking parody I’ve ever seen in my life! Even if it’s all in Chinese with subtitles. Or Russian. Whatever I can’t tell. Just enjoy the vid.
My MSN Slut
February 24th, 2010
Apparently, pornography is a BIG thing on the internet. I had no idea. Seriously. They put NAKED WOMEN doing SEX ACTS on the internet. And apparently it’s big business.
Thanks Quagmire. Nice bicep.
Anyways, it just so happened the other night a girl added herself to my MSN. Now, I know what your thinking. Your thinking, ‘Girls want to talk to Spaz???’ And you’re right, I’m surprised as you are. But there it was, her name was Catharine, and apparently, she was an automated PORNO bot. Not the good kind of porno bot I hear about on Howard Stern, the one that’s anatomically correct and never says a word (oh bliss), but I think she was trying to sell me porno. Anyways, I saved the transcripts. Her slutty ass hyperlinks are omitted. You can find them for yourselves, pervs.
Mike says:
Hi. Who are you?
Catherine says:
hi
hi how are you today?
Mike says:
good, do i know you?
Catherine says:
my name is kaylee I’m doing great today I’m 21 yrs old how old are you?
(note: porno people aren’t noted for their big ‘brains’. Catherine, or should I say, kaylee)
Mike says:
you are a bot aren’t you
Catherine says:
listen hun, I am just about to start my webcam show with jen, come chat me there in my chat room? We can cyber, I will get naked if u do..lol!
Mike says:
well i was thinking, instead of paying you to get naked, how about I pay you to keep your clothes on?
maybe do some secretarial work for me
I need some stuff filed
Catherine says:
I can show u how to watch free if u promise not to tell anyone else how to do it???PLEASE
Mike says:
How many times have you had Chlamydia? That’s important.
Catherine says:
well since its free the law that u gotta be 18 (nudity involved), u have to sign up with a credit card for age verification! BUT .. Once you are inside, just clikc on “Webcams” let me know what name you use to sign in with so I know it is you babe! (pervy link deleted) fill out the bottom of the page then fill out the next page as well and u can see me live for free!
Mike says:
Do you houseclean?
if i was to give you some money
you know
would you clean my house?
Catherine says:
Please dont mention anything about that in the chatroom once u get in ok?
Mike says:
So you DO clean house!
Make sure there’s no dust on top of the fridge or I might beat you
haha!
just kidding about the beating
but really
no dust
Catherine says:
OH SHIT.. k I am late to start my show, I gotta get off msn…I will see ya inside my chatroom babe.. remember not to mention that I am upgrading u for free… You can use your msn name to sign in so i know it is you..
Mike says:
Yea I don’t do fecal stuff
Catherine says:
AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my free webcam show if you want to watch click the link (link deleted, get your own porn pervs).
And my Balls…
October 13th, 2009
…don’t hurt any more. Thank the many armed gods. Of course, that’s probably due to the fact I can’t feel them at all.
Yes, they are still there. There hasn’t been any raging man like feminists that have been so angered by my insensitive Nazi like blog comments they came and ripped it off in one massive bite from a disgusting unwashed mouth with beard stubble.
Shit, disgusting man like unwashed lesbian women with beards. Add the words ‘morbid’ and ‘obese’ and I think I just gave myself a boner. Which I also would not be able to feel.
You see, it’s October in Canada and my furnace decided not to start up this season.
For all of you south of the 49th, that doesn’t seem like a big deal. Except that my house is like 9 degrees and dropping, which is giving me a case of blue balls, blue hands, and blue everything else.
Which probably means as soon as I get heat again, my balls will drop off from whatever disease is afflicting them. Fucking balls. You women think it’s horrible to bleed for 5 days a month, well, try wearing your gonads on the outside of your body.
Women, seriously, try it. Get a couple of kiwi fruits and a hot dog and glue it onto your hoo haw and see how it feels (*If you’re black, you’ll need two large sized granny smith apples and a foot long sausage).
Can’t find a comfortable place for it to rest ladies? Let me let you in on a little secret. THERE IS NO COMFORTABLE PLACE. It’s like god really did make man genitals as an after thought. He probably got drunk and gave the wiener and peas to his retarded angel Effrum who picked the location with a demented game of “pin the nards on the man animal”.
And while you’re trying to find a place to put your new prosthetic, you WILL be touching yourself a lot. And in public. And now you know why. So ease up, ok?
On the subject of easing up, balls are VERY sensitive. Your gonads are deep within your body, protected by organs, muscle, skin, and a bit of fat. Sometimes, by a lot of at. If your gonads were dangling out of your body you’d understand how just a tiny little slap can have BIG pain repercussions.
Jumping off something without being prepared? Ever seen those devices on a corporate desk, the little swingset with the balls hanging from it? And when you lift one ball it hits the others and causes a chain reaction? Yea, that’s what happens with ours and it HURTS.
Shit, I’ve seemed to get some feeling back into my testes. They hurt again. Mother fucker.
Show me the love!
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