The Mind of Spaz

For those of you who read my previous post and thought I was in a bad mood because of the funbies at Ask and You Shall Receive who reviewed my blog, relax. It was just some shit. I posted it before I knew my blog was reviewed over there and has nothing to do with mood.

After reading their blog (for which they can’t even afford the $10 for a proper domain name), I decided to submit. Why, because I was looking for validation? Because I wanted them to give me pointers on how to improve? No, I knew that wouldn’t happen.

Sure, if they like you they can give some pretty good advice. But if they don’t like you, they regress into the mental capacity of bitter twelve year olds with an impressive lexicon of Websters like grammar and verbiage.

As my loyal readers might remember from my foray into P.E.T.A and the vegitarians, there’s nothing I like more than seeing idiots spew verbal diarrhea at what they think is my expense.  I even got a death threat from one of the Ask zombies! The entertainment value is absolutely precious.

If you have a blog that’s full of teenaged angst, emotional instability, or depressing real life antics, submit it to Ask and Ye Shall Receive.  You might get some good pointers on blog layout, design and perhaps even grammar and writing style.  If you have any other type of blog, and want a laugh, submit it too.  You’ll see some reasonably intelligent people revert into a complete and utter children. They’ll make assumptions about you and your life, even if what you write about is complete and utter fiction.  They will do their best to insult you personally too.  It’s pure entertainment value.

I think the most entertaining thing is the Ask zombies.  They have a group of people who nod their heads like bobble dolls to whatever the reviewers say, and even go as far as to insult your READERS, not just you!

If it’s not entertainment you’re looking for, then go for the validation. If the people at Ask don’t like your blog to the point they revert to babyish insults and outright assumptions, that means you are actually pretty good.

But don’t just take my word for it, try it for yourself.  You might just like it!

dumb things I do to myself, social commentary ask and you shall recieve, children, iwillfuckingtearyouapart.com, zombies

I don’t like kids.

I don’t like kids at all.  I don’t understand how anyone can think ugly, drooly, poopy, frog like babies are cute.  How they can tolerate a disgusting looking toddler breaking their shit and leaving dirt and grime everywhere.

As far as children and teenagers, I might have liked them if I was around in the 50′s.  These children were to be seen and not heard, respected their elders, and went out and EARNED their own way. Not like today’s stupid little turds, where everything is ‘fair’ and we KNOW that’s NOT how the world works. How they think they’re going to be rich by not doing anything, how everything should just come to them. Their talk back, contemptuous look for the people who make their soft, comfy lives possible.

Tweens and teens disgust me the most.

I live three houses down from a school. I’m constantly picking up the garbage that these little ‘tards strew about everywhere.  Juice box’s, sandwich bags, chocolate bar wrappers, chip bags. etc.

Funny enough, I never pick up apple cores, orange or banana peels.

No wonder today’s little shits make the Pilsbury Dough Boy look slim.

But the other day was the last straw. Some little PUKE left her USE TAMPON in the back of my truck.

Some giant, loose gaping vagina’d skank whore.

“But Spaz”, you’re thinking, “Why did you use the words ‘giant loose gaping vagina skank whore’? I mean, how do you know?”

How do I know? HOW DO I KNOW?  Well, I took a picture of the damned used tampon. Judge for yourself.

‘Nuff Said

dumb things I do to myself, social commentary ask and you shall recieve, children, iwillfuckingtearyouapart.com, zombies

Israel.  Palestine.  Stop it. Seriously. Stop it now. Stop acting like children.  If you don’t stop acting like children, you’ll get no Halwa after your Falafal.  Even if you eat your last scrap of hummus. I’m serious.

Let’s look at the issues here.  You both want the Gaza strip because you both feel that some ancient books written by goat herders who wanted control of other goat herders say so.

Hey Palestine.  You know those people who fire rockets into Israeli residential areas?  The people who you don’t “officially” support?  Except of course who get their weapons and funding from you. You know, the ones that hide behind women and children as they fire on Israeli soldiers? Yea, those people aren’t martyrs. They’re cowards. They also probably smell like B.O., poo and too much hot sauce. Maybe if they tried wiping their bums with things other than hot curries they’d be just a tad less angry.

Hey Israel.  I know you’re surrounded on all sides by hostile Muslims that hate your guts, your religion and want your land, but you know what? That little thing called Zionism isn’t helping any.  Yea, the Muslim belief that their religion isn’t violent but anybody who says it is shall die and anybody that isn’t a Muslim and doesn’t follow their law should die too. Yea, it’s ignorant.

Zionism is the Jewish equivalent. And it ain’t helping  the “peace” process.   Neither are those little curly hair things that you guys have growing on the side of your head. What is that shit, reins or something?

So, you guys both play like children, except with deadly weapons.  Palistine, you refuse to meet the enemy in an open field to prevent collateral damage. Hell, you even seem to enjoy collateral damage so you can make more “martyrs” for the cause to whip up even more unjustified emotional rage.  So Isreal finally launces bombs to stop the rocket attacks and car bombings and you say it’s unfair?

Whatever.  Both of you have earned some serious douchebag points.  Congradulations Isreal and Palistine, you are giant douchebags.  You’re an even bigger douchebag than a blogger that sells their blog on the condition they still write – and don’t.

So I’m going to make a proposition to you both, and I ask the worlds militaries to help out. You know, in a “do this or we’ll nuke you” kind of way.

Since you both are douchebag children that like to play childrens games, we’re going to draw a line right down the middle of the Gaza strip.  This will be the line of Gaza scrimmage.

You’ll both line up along that line, and when the whistle blows, you’ll start pushing.

Where the line falls, is how Gaza is divided.

The first one to bring a gun, rocket, car bomb or F16 automatically forfeits.

And for fucks sakes, put on some deodorant.  It’s like a billion degrees up there and they’re will be about a half million of you.  At least be considerate of something, would you?

dumb things I do to myself, social commentary ask and you shall recieve, children, iwillfuckingtearyouapart.com, zombies