The Febreze Saga
To my 2.78 fans who actually read this drivel, you may remember how I lost my crown as king shit. Well, my friend was over at my house once again, and once again he completely and totally destroyed my toilet. At least it was working this time.
Still, the smell hung heavy and I used some febreze air effects odour eliminator spray with less than satisfying results. So poor did this product perform, I felt compelled to write the company. Below is the email I sent:
To whom it may concern:
I’m writing to you today in regards to the efficacy of your Febreze Air Effects product.
You see, one of my friends was at my home yesterday helping me do some drywall work. This particular friend is in excess of 6’4″ tall and weighs in somewhere around 350 lbs.
The issue is that his normally overactive gut was compounded that day by a double cheeseburger with bacon, fries with extra gravy and an extra large milkshake. He’s not supposed to eat fast food and the effects were disastrous.
He spent the better part of two hours flatulating in my little bungalow before decimating my toilet for a period exceeding twenty-five minutes.
The results were horrid. I could not get the smell out of my house, despite turning the bathroom fan on and opening all the windows. The smell was heavy and pungent and would not go anywhere.
It was then I saw a commercial on T.V. advertising your Febreze air effects, and how your product claimed to eliminate odours from the air, not just mask them over.
I quickly went to the store and purchased a can of your febreze air effects linen and sky odour eliminator.
I probably used at least half the can and the resulting smell was linen and sky poo.
I’m very disappointed that your product did not work as claimed, and feel perhaps you should add a disclaimer to your advertising before someone launches a lawsuit.
Respectfully yours,
Mike
Rest assured I will post any future correspondance with the company.
