Those Angry Veggies
There was a time in my life when I thought that food was just for eating. Whether you ate vegetables, meat, a combination thereof, it was just food.
Some people don’t like meat. They don’t enjoy it, they don’t want to eat it. Hey, who am I to judge? I’ve had all vegetarian meals before. I’ve had all meat meals before. I’ve even killed, gutted, and cooked my own animals. When you’re in the woods, you eat what the woods has to offer.
I met a new breed of people recently. Sure, I knew they existed. I mean, I thought if you were one of them you went and joined up with all the rest of the PETArds. But I was wrong. Very wrong. This group of people are so angry, so unsatisfied with their lives, that not only do they not understand humour or satire, but they feel the need to threaten people with their lives simply for the food they eat. This group is known as the….
ANGRY VEGGIES!
Yes, these people exist, and there were some very interesting comments left on my last post, Petardia. One man in particular, was very interesting. He was the first angry veggie to comment. Well, I don’t know if he’s a man. It’s kind of hard with a name Dacho. Maybe it’s a girl. Or maybe it’s an it. Or maybe it’s a boy with a really really small wiggly, which is why it feels compelled to get angry over a little humorous satire.
In Patardia, I was making fun of the the retardation the PETArds call sea kittens, in which if we rename fish to sea kittens, nobody will want to eat fish any more. They’d prefer people to starve than eating fish, I’m guessing. The thing named Dacho took exception to that post. He/she/it took something not serious seriously, and made some interesting comments. For example, on evolution, Dacho says:
-You didn’t spend a single second of “climbing your way up”, you’re eating meat from an animal that’s been raised and slaughtered for you, that’s what you did.
So apparently evolution started sometime in late 1977 huh? Interesting.
Some other tidbits of brilliance from Dacho:
……we might as well eat fetuses and little babies. Nothing like a nice bloody piece of meat, right?
I’m wondering, just because I like cow, pig, chicken, and sometimes cat (we have a GREAT Chinese food restaurant here in town), you assume I’m into cannibalism too? Because cooked fetus is just like a plate full of delicious prime rib. Us carnivores haunt proms looking for dumpster babies. You tard.
Of course, since Dacho took my satire so seriously, he left serious comments. Not hypocritical in any ways. For example, he said this:
-I suppose you mean vegetable farms. No, they’re not, but let’s take a soy farms example. EIGHTY PERCENT of soy made on farms is used for FEEDING ANIMALS ON FARMS.
And he followed it up with this tibit of genius:
OK now I’m really curious. People would usually delete my comment and pretend it was never there, and continue with their silliness. And I would really like it to be something with trustable sources, not just “doctors say yadda yadda” (like my 80% soy thing, lol).
So Dacho. You can leave bullshit made up statistics, TELL me they were bullshit statistics, and insist that I come up with verified sources? Sounds like the only one who’s being silly here is you, my friend.
According to the great Dacho, my parents:
I really don’t see what your problem with vegetarians might be, have your parents been hitting you with a vegetarian when you were a kid or what? Anyway, set your facts straight if you wanna spit on something.
I’m guessing that it was actually my parents who had a problem with vegetarians, because they used them to beat me. And I always thought that dad used his belt. I guess he really hated veggies if he used one as a belt! And Dacho, why do I have to get my facts straight when you admit you don’t?
As I was making fun of the PETArds and their sea kittens, apparently I also mentioned all the things that I think vegetarians are:
I just love the stereotypes: “oooh, a vegetarian, does that mean you’re gay? or punk? or goth? oooh, so you’re one of those that throw molotovs on MCD! oooh, a vegetarian
Where did I say that in my last post? Nope, I don’t think that about vegetarians at all. Maybe just you Dacho, maybe just you 
While Dacho was an angry veggie, the next commenter, known as Vegan, was a VIOLENT veggie. Observe.
Careful. I may not eat meat, dairy or eggs. I may not wear leather or fur or down. But I’d happily string you up in a slaughterhouse, shoot you in the head with a bolt gun, miss the right spot and leave you conscious while I slit your throat, let you struggle while you bleed out, carve your sorry ass up and pepper it with poison, package it up all shiny and nice and send it to grocery stores for people just like you to enjoy.
You may just get more than you bargained for…
You want ecoterrorism?
So I think sea kittens are a retarded idea, and I’m about to become a package of ground beef for some bachelors hamburger helper? I would say the above response of death and terrorism is a pretty reasonable response, wouldn’t you?
And my last Angry Veggie, Irmiez also was a bit ‘tarded in the head. He/She/It in the same paragraph says:
Soooo I’ve come up to the conclusion that your ancestors seriously were into eating each other, otherwise you wouldn’t be so stupid right now.
By the way, mmmm a fetus sounds so delicious right now.
I’m a vegetarian but don’t preach my beliefs to others. I don’t expect others to not eat meat. I don’t lecture people. I don’t care if you eat a burger in frnt of me, and I don’t agree with PETA’s ethics and marketing stance. You do your thing and I’ll do mine.
If anyone has a problem with that, Eat. Me.
Thank you Meghan, for bringing some intelligence and understanding where Dacho, Vegan and Irmiez brought retardation, a lack of understanding of satire, preconceptions, misconceptions, no sense of humour, and a total lack of spelling, grammar and sentance structure. Also, could I eat you even if I didn’t have a problem with what you said? You know, just saying.
Thank you angry veggies, for showing my readers how unreasonable you really are! It makes for a great post and wonderful fodder for controversy. I’m glad you only represent a fraction of the population, otherwise we’d have to eat you along with the rest of the PETArds. Maybe we should. Does ketchup go well with angry veggie?
I’d just like to say to the few angry veggies who are loud, arrogant pricks: Whatever it is in your life that you aren’t satisfied with, don’t take it out on others. You’ll be happier and healthier, okay?
