The Mind of Spaz

I couldn’t possibly top the last story (yet) so have some moobs.

politically incorrect gross, man boobs, moobs, wear a baggy sweater

Why is it that I see big huge fat chicks walking around with skinny little boyfriends?  Seriously.  Three out of five big fat chicks have skinny little boyfriends. What’s up with that? Does it make sense? I mean, the chick can NEVER be on top otherwise she’d crush her boyfriend.

I knew this one chick in college. We’ll call her fatty too fats to protect her identity.  Anyways, fatty had two boyfriends, and they both looked EXACTLY like each other. Five foot sixish, 97lbs, looked like a bird.  And fatty, well, she would break a sweat getting off the couch to retrieve herself another bucket of ice cream. Or KFC. Or KFC dipped in ice cream. Whatever.  We lost the one guy one day, he didn’t show for MONTHS and he finally called. We figured he’d lost himself under her giant flabby left boob and had finally found his cell phone.

So if you’re a bit fat chick, for what use could be a skinny little boyfriend? Let’s see:

1. He’s small enough to help you clean under your folds
2. If he doesn’t want to clean under your folds, wet his hair and use him like a mop for fat. What’s he gonna do, fight back? You’d snap him in half.
3. Crawling in there and finding the wet spot.
4. Catching your crumbs as they fall. Skinny guys need to eat too.
5. Picking up after you, because you can’t bend over yourself.
6. Tying your shoe laces
7. You can carry him in your purse like Paris Hilton’s dog.

And if you’re a skinny little guy, what is the benefit of dating a hephalump? Let’s see:

1. Protection. You’re a skinny little shit.

So let’s here it for the huge fat chick/skinny guy thing! Awesome.

politically incorrect, talking out of my ass fat lady, gross, skinny guy

It’s not that I’m apposed to anal sex, it’s just that I won’t stick it in a woman’s bum.

Not because of any particular reason other than my own brand of fucked up logic.

You see, for some reason it’s one hole or the other with me, but not both.

Poo comes out of the one hole, and babies come out of the other.

And I find babies slightly less gross than poo.  Only just slightly.

Therefore, I won’t stick it up her bum, no matter how much she begs.

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Ok, but only if she begs.

That is all.

talking out of my ass anal sex, babies, gross, poo, vaginal sex, woman

talking out of my ass are you a hermphrodite?, giant clit, gross, inhumane