Slam Poetry? SHAM Poetry.
Among the overpriced undervalued Olympic ceremony at the expense of the taxpayer BULLSHIT, the powers that be hired some dip named Shane Koyczan to do some retarded thing called SLAM POETRY.
Although I do think it’s very appropriate they call this SLAM poetry. I like to slam poetry all the time. It’s stupid, it’s pointless, it serves no purpose in the real world, it’s touchy feely, and for it to be judged as good is something that is very very very…very subjective.
And my subjectiveness says that this slam poetry crap is pointless, and I’m betting the Olympic committee paid this Shane guy WAY too much to get up there and ramble on about nothing in particular to the beats of Jazz musicians who have the real talent. Not only that, but I’m betting this guy spends his overly inflated spoken word salary on cheeseburgers anyways.
Well, maybe just hamburgers. I’m betting this guy grows enough cheese under his chin to meet his cheese needs and perhaps the cheese needs of a small third world country.
How the HELL do you grow that much neck fat anyways? Is that even possible? Whatever the case, at least when he gets all emotional slamming his poetry watching the ripples and jiggles of that massive chin is entertaining.
Here, I got some slam poetry Shane can use, free of charge. That’s the kind of nice guy that I am.
Check that Neck Fat Jiggling around the face Chin hair, gets there Can't hide that jiggly place. Fold cheese, more please saves the grocery bill. Scrape under that Chin fat Save it in the fridge to chill. Skills aren't there now KAPOW! Slam that poetry out! Get paid, Well paid, By wishy washy clouts! Pulled the wool over the eyes Of so many starving artists So much, so many I believe my own lies. Jiggle here, Jiggle there, cheesy chin fat GO If they knew it took me minutes to write this crap They might cut off my cash FLOW. SUCKERS!
Slam this Shane, Slam this. Although I cannot fault you. If there are people willing to pay for a non service like yours, you deserve that money.
Good for you.
Spaz’s Book of the month – Portnoy’s Complaint
