The Mind of Spaz

Firstly, I’d like to say that I’m not THAT greedy. Therefore, the first 50 people to comment on THIS post will get a FREE MIND OF SPAZ E-BOOK yay!  Seeing as I’ve NEVER gotten 50 comments before, I’m not too worried about losing too much money. Not that anyone has bought one yet. One person has one but I gave it to her for free for pimping my lowly ass.

Also, the whole free thing will be closed by the next time I post.  And judging from my current track record, that’ll be a while.

Moving on.

Things to do/not to do when trying to win the girl, from experience:

1. Unless their mother is HOT, don’t tell her she looks like her mother
2. Never agree with her that her mother is ugly.
3. Never badmouth her mother. That’s her job. Just shut up and pay for dinner.
4. It has to be HER idea.
5. If her idea is bad, don’t correct her. Just give subtle hints of the right thing to do until she thinks the best thing to do was her idea in the first place.
6. If #5 doesn’t work, just suck it up.
7. Her money is her money and your money is her money.
8. Pursuant to above, all your bad purchases are bad, all hers are good.
9. There WILL be an ex who is better than you.  Do not say “well then, why aren’t you with HIM?”. That will not help the situation. Just accept her comparing you to him and live with it.
10. Just because she expects oral sex, doesn’t mean you will get any in return. Don’t force the issue if you still want to stick it in her.
11. You WILL go to the mall and carry her shopping bags.  All 300 lbs of them.  You will NOT bitch. You will NOT tell her you’ll be in the pub getting drunk and she can swing by later.
12. Movies will consist of chick flicks. If you want to watch horror, action or sports, that’s by yourself/with your buddies. If she likes action/sports/horror flicks, ask her to marry you. You wont’ find a better woman.
13. She may be too tired to rub your back after you had a long day at work.  You will NEVER be too tired to rub her feet after she’s spent hours at the mall with her girlfriends and her feet hurt SO much!
14. You can work your ass  off at work all day, but if you’ve done nothing around the house, you’ve done nothing at all. Be prepared for housework.
15. You don’t win, ever. Period.

Seems a bit one sided, I know. But these are the lessons that life has taught me. If you are a man, you are the bitch. Take it, BITCH!

politically incorrect, rant, social commentary girl, mindofspaz ebook, one sided, sexist