The Gaza Line of Scrimmage
Israel. Palestine. Stop it. Seriously. Stop it now. Stop acting like children. If you don’t stop acting like children, you’ll get no Halwa after your Falafal. Even if you eat your last scrap of hummus. I’m serious.
Let’s look at the issues here. You both want the Gaza strip because you both feel that some ancient books written by goat herders who wanted control of other goat herders say so.
Hey Palestine. You know those people who fire rockets into Israeli residential areas? The people who you don’t “officially” support? Except of course who get their weapons and funding from you. You know, the ones that hide behind women and children as they fire on Israeli soldiers? Yea, those people aren’t martyrs. They’re cowards. They also probably smell like B.O., poo and too much hot sauce. Maybe if they tried wiping their bums with things other than hot curries they’d be just a tad less angry.
Hey Israel. I know you’re surrounded on all sides by hostile Muslims that hate your guts, your religion and want your land, but you know what? That little thing called Zionism isn’t helping any. Yea, the Muslim belief that their religion isn’t violent but anybody who says it is shall die and anybody that isn’t a Muslim and doesn’t follow their law should die too. Yea, it’s ignorant.
Zionism is the Jewish equivalent. And it ain’t helping the “peace” process. Neither are those little curly hair things that you guys have growing on the side of your head. What is that shit, reins or something?
So, you guys both play like children, except with deadly weapons. Palistine, you refuse to meet the enemy in an open field to prevent collateral damage. Hell, you even seem to enjoy collateral damage so you can make more “martyrs” for the cause to whip up even more unjustified emotional rage. So Isreal finally launces bombs to stop the rocket attacks and car bombings and you say it’s unfair?
Whatever. Both of you have earned some serious douchebag points. Congradulations Isreal and Palistine, you are giant douchebags. You’re an even bigger douchebag than a blogger that sells their blog on the condition they still write – and don’t.
So I’m going to make a proposition to you both, and I ask the worlds militaries to help out. You know, in a “do this or we’ll nuke you” kind of way.
Since you both are douchebag children that like to play childrens games, we’re going to draw a line right down the middle of the Gaza strip. This will be the line of Gaza scrimmage.
You’ll both line up along that line, and when the whistle blows, you’ll start pushing.
Where the line falls, is how Gaza is divided.
The first one to bring a gun, rocket, car bomb or F16 automatically forfeits.
And for fucks sakes, put on some deodorant. It’s like a billion degrees up there and they’re will be about a half million of you. At least be considerate of something, would you?
