He’s Smashing His Meat
There are people on this planet that are sicker and more deranged than I am. I seem to attract them, which maybe is why I am the way I am.
Case in point, my boss. He’s got a mind similar to mine but dirtier in certain ways.
Today was a good example of that. Our duty that day was to sample a monitoring well that was located on a grass meridian in between a road and the parking lot for a grocery store. It was a fairly lengthy process; we would be there for about 90 minutes.
As we pulled in, I noticed a car in the corner, parked so that he took up several parking spots. Parked like douchebag. I mentioned to my boss “hey, look at the way that douchebag is parked!”
No sooner did I say that then said douchebag took off.
“I wonder what he was doing?”
“Obviously, he was smashing his meat.” Said my boss.
”“What else would he be doing?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe he was eating a sandwich he bought from the grocery store.”
“You mean the grocery store all the way down yonder? Why would he park so far away if he wasn’t smashing his meat?”
“Yonder? It’s 50 feet away, max! Since when is 50 feet a yonder?”
“Look Spaz, obviously he was smashing his meat. There was no other reason for being there.”
“So he wasn’t having lunch, making a phone call or reading?”
“NO.”
“It was lunchtime and he wasn’t taking a sandwich break in a grocery store parking lot.”
“The corner of grocery store parking lots are for smashing your meat.”
“So that lady in her car there, she’s Smashing her meat?
“What else would she be doing?”
“Is that what you do in grocery store parking lots?”
“What else would I be doing?”
“Don’t start smashing your meat, ok?”
“Well, we are in a grocery store parking lot. But it is during work hours”.
“Good thing too.”
And he is one of my role models. Do you folks see now where I get it?
‘Nuff Said
