The mystery of big fat chicks with skinny little boyfriends
Why is it that I see big huge fat chicks walking around with skinny little boyfriends? Seriously. Three out of five big fat chicks have skinny little boyfriends. What’s up with that? Does it make sense? I mean, the chick can NEVER be on top otherwise she’d crush her boyfriend.
I knew this one chick in college. We’ll call her fatty too fats to protect her identity. Anyways, fatty had two boyfriends, and they both looked EXACTLY like each other. Five foot sixish, 97lbs, looked like a bird. And fatty, well, she would break a sweat getting off the couch to retrieve herself another bucket of ice cream. Or KFC. Or KFC dipped in ice cream. Whatever. We lost the one guy one day, he didn’t show for MONTHS and he finally called. We figured he’d lost himself under her giant flabby left boob and had finally found his cell phone.
So if you’re a bit fat chick, for what use could be a skinny little boyfriend? Let’s see:
- He’s small enough to help you clean under your folds
- If he doesn’t want to clean under your folds, wet his hair and use him like a mop for fat. What’s he gonna do, fight back? You’d snap him in half.
- Crawling in there and finding the wet spot.
- Catching your crumbs as they fall. Skinny guys need to eat too.
- Picking up after you, because you can’t bend over yourself.
- Tying your shoe laces
- You can carry him in your purse like Paris Hilton’s dog.
And if you’re a skinny little guy, what is the benefit of dating a hephalump? Let’s see:
- Protection. You’re a skinny little shit.
So let’s here it for the huge fat chick/skinny guy thing! Awesome.
