Stick a Lemon in That Thing.
Today, I’d like to talk about penis’s. Penis’s and vagina’s. Vagina’s and women. Penis’s, in vagina’s, in women. And women’s mouths.
That came out pretty damned dirty, didn’t it.
But what this is really about is misconceptions. See, just like with religion, politics and nerds, there’s always a small group of very loud people speaking on behalf of the whole. This includes a select group of women.
These women are in the complete minority, but speak so loudly as to make every man think he has an itty bitty teeny weeny bump of a penis.
Hey, don’t get me wrong. There are guys with a hard on that resembles a bic disposable lighter. Yes, you might find a few acorns in the bush, but they are as rare as guys with monster pythons. You’ll find those guys in either porno or as medieval naked jousters.
Most men out there are normal sized. Normal size works well. It works even better when you know how to put the motion in the ocean for longer than a minute.
But this group of loud, obnoxious women, that ruin it for everyone and makes men self concious about their special little dagger, these women are sluts.
They go from man to man to man to man, each time complaining about how they keep finding men who have itty bitty little pork swords who just can’t satisfy them in bed.
Come on now ladies. You should know the statistics. Most of these men are average. If most men are average sized, do you know what that means?
Ladies: The problem isn’t the men, the problem is YOU.
All these men aren’t tiny. You’re just loose. Your vagina is a huge, echoing cavern without a bottom.
So do us all a favour. Recognize that your fun hole could house a family of possums. Recognize that the majority of men have normal sized penis’s for normal sized vagina’s, of which you do not have. Shut your frigging yap, and do one of three things:
- Do pornography, where most of the men have huge schlongs to fill your black hole of fishy death
- Be up front with the man. Tell him you have a giant vagina that needs a huge cock to fill it. Weed out the guys that can’t fit your disgusting sloppy hole, it’ll be better for everybody in the end.
- Stick a lemon in that thing and hope it puckers down to normal size.
Thank you, that is all.
