The Mind of Spaz

*Someone actually asked me to do a guest post.  If you want to read it, click here would you?

In my parents day, when somebody got a disease from chawing on the slut train, everyone referred to it as VD or venereal disease. Then in my day, the pansie ass’s upgraded it to be more politically correct and called it a sexually transmitted disease.

Now VD and STD don’t exist, because we use the uber ultra politically correct STI.  What the HELL is an STI?

I have no idea why we have to rename sex diseases so many fucking times.  What exactly was wrong with VD? Venereal Disease. Yea, I like the sound of that. Venereal. It sounds all squishy and dirty and genital like. That’s a good word.

I say SCREW you pansy ass lefties!  You’re changing the name of a broad definition of virus’s and bacteria so you don’t offend a bevy of skanks and sluts?  Are you afraid to remind Jimmy how stupid he is because he didn’t put a condom on before screwing the 47 year old one legged french whore?

I don’t think so.

From now on, it’s venereal disease.  It is because I say it is.  Anybody that’s a whore and has or had one has had VD.  You didn’t get an STD, you didn’t get an STI, you’re a  skank or ho and you screwed someone without protection and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT. That’s it, end of story.

Furthermore, if you are a skank or ho in a particular situation, you’re to use the letters V.D. after the end of your name. Yea, kind of like you went to school, except this is the school of skank.

If you’re a prostitute, welcome to the alumni! You’re V.D. If you’ve had more sexual partners in a year than there are months, you’re on the honour roll! If you’re from or ever have been to Amsterdam, guess what.  You are an honorary V.D. and you get to use it after your name!

Especially you Paris, especially you.

politically incorrect, rant herpes, skanks, sluts, STD, STI, the clap, VD, whores

Back in the day a men’s washroom was where men

pee’d, poo’d, farted and boasted about all the women they didn’t actually screw.  This is the sanctuary for men to do all the things we’re not allowed to do in front of the women folk, because it’s a men’s room.

A men’s room as in no women allowed. You women have your own room to insert your tampons and quiff and poot or whatever it is you do.

So imagine my surprise, as I’m at the urinal with my dick in my hands, when a woman come into OUR room.

And yes, I did say dick in my HANDS.  I have the opposite problem of moooooog.  It’s a nice problem to have.

But back to the topic at hand.

Ha! Topic at HAND.

You see what I did there?

Anyways.

There are WOMEN in the mens room and I got my cock out.  It’s not like I can stuff it back in my pants because I’m peeing at the time.

You CANNOT stop midstream.  That’s impossible.  Well you can, but it feels like a billion bee’s poking at your bladder, just about ready to sting you to death.

So naturally, I FREAK! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING IN HERE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM NOW!

Actually, my reaction was more along the lines of ‘ummmm?’.

Yea, I’m such a hard ass.

I mean, if she was hot I might have risked the sexual harresment charge.  Hey, she was invading man territory, and that sends a clear signal.

Just as clear as a woman wearing a push up bra and a low cut top.  When she gets pissed at you looking down her cleavage, what she’s really saying is “I’ll meet you behind the bleachers later.  Bring a condom”.

But she did not look hot at all.  She was UGLY.  She looked like mooogs therapist.  Mooog has a picture of his therapist, so you can understand what I’m talking about.

Thank you mooog, your graphics make it easy.

So I say “ummm?”

She screams and leaves.

Apparently, the building manager was hosting a walk through so cleaning people could bid on the contract.  Apparently this woman thought the men’s room was empty, despite the building being full of over caffinated engineering types.

Silly, silly girl.

If there’s a moral to this story, I guess it’s this:

Always carry a domer in your wallet just in case the english as a second language cleaning lady walks in on you draining the main vein and she’s actually hot.

And carry a stun gun in case she looks like moooogs therapist and still wants some.

‘Nuff said.

politically incorrect, rant herpes, skanks, sluts, STD, STI, the clap, VD, whores