The Mind of Spaz

The other night I sat watching a documentary about children and in particular children with special needs.  I sat there dumbfounded watching one scene where a ‘teacher’ of children with special needs said (with a straight face) that people with Downs Syndrome are just like everybody else. Then they panned to a child with a particularly bad case and he repeated her, saying that we’re just like everyone else.

Ok, it was more like “wweeeee juwst wike ebbyone elbse‘, but the meaning was there.

So you’re telling me that a child born with a known handicap, one that has limited mental capacity and inadequate control of their emotions is just like everyone else? And you drill that into their head even though the most that a good portion of them can accomplish is the table cleaner at your local fast food restaurant? If they are lucky?

Case in point, my imaginary dinner with my imaginary downs syndrome friend, Lenny.

Me: What are you doing, Lenny?

Lenny: I am picking a boogie!

Me: That’s not appropriate at the dinner table.

Lenny: I eat mai boogie now! Yum yum in the tum!

Me: Lenny, why are you going red in the face?

Lenny: I make poopie! In mai pants!

Me: For gods sakes Lenny, you’re 41.

Now, you are probably going to call me an insensitive asshole, and you’d be right.  I’m not saying that people with downs syndrome shouldn’t be here – on the contrary.  They have many enviable qualities that I would like to have, most notably some of them can have an excellent mood and a happy outlook on life in the face of any adversity. What I’m saying is teaching them that they are just like everyone else, when they clearly have diminished capacity because of the unfortunate event of a genetic flaw is wrong.

I’ll tell you who the assholes are though.  Right after you teach these children they are like everyone else, you teach them that everyone is different and unique. Which is it, hmm?

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Spaz’s Book of the month – Portnoy’s Complaint

politically incorrect, social commentary boogar, Downs Snydrome, Lenny, pooping, stupid, teaching

Today, I’m not talking. I’m typing.  I have a friend, we’ll call him Al (name changed to protect the guilty) who has something to get off of his chest.

There are two problems with Al

1. He doesn’t understand the Internet so does not have a blog of his own.
2. He’s Dutch, so his fingers are too big to operate standard keyboards.

That’s why I’m typing for him, and on my blog.

You’ll find that he has a keen wit and an excellent sense of humour, because he likes laughing at me.

Moving on, and I’ll give it up to Al.

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Today, when I opened up my RSS feeds, I came across an article regarding the FDA’s (Food and Drug Administration) decision to attack General Mills with regards to their labelling of Cheerios packaging.

Cheerios being the #1 selling cereal in the United States (one box in eight sold is Cheerios) is labeled by General Mills as being healthy for you, able to lower your cholesterol levels by several percentage points within a few weeks and to help prevent the onset of coronary heart disease apparently.

According to the FDA, that makes Cheerios, the breakfast cereal loved by millions, young and old alike, and unregistered DRUG!  The ramifications are astounding!

That means every morning, my children and I are committing a felony by consuming an unregistered (aka Illegal) drug.  Every grocery store in this great continent of ours, apparently then is a crack dealing drug house for selling processed wheat product, an apparent illegal substance.

Although, that may explain the dazed look on my fourteen year olds face.

This seems to me to be altogether ridiculous and stupid.  Imagine if you will, that wheat products are actually drugs. That means your stupid breakfast doughnut, your loaf of bread, your tea biscuits, your spaghetti noodles etc., all being made with this illicit wheat product, are by extension according to the FDA unregistered drugs.

Health Food lovers of the world unite!  You may all soon be going to jail.

Supermarket managers: Run and hide. You have been selling drugs for years, but that won’t matter to the FDA.  You are a drug dealer. Surprise!

Does the FDA have nothing better to do with it’s time?  Are there so few important matters that they could be working on with those federal tax dollars than chasing after corporate America, over breakfast cereal?

I think a situation has developed at the FDA.  It requires presidential attention. Please Mr. President, please pay attention.

The FDA has too many people, with too much time on their hands.  If Mr. President you are looking to reign in the federal deficit, may I suggest taking a long hard look at the FDA’s budget and possible culling the herd there.

I would also like to suggest that in an attempt to cull this herd, Americans be allowed to punch FDA agents in the nose on sight.

I know this sounds stupid, but the FDA’s actions do justify this!  I would also like to point out that General Mills isn’t entirely innocent in all of this either.

Overstating the value of a product is of course a natural activity of advertisers which sometimes does draw unwanted attention from regulatory bodies.  General Mills should also receive a punch on the nose for actually recognizing the FDA’s claim.  Stating that they can’t wait to sit down with the FDA to resolve this. Resolve NOTHING! Ignore. Stop wasting everybody’s time and money.

There are people dying in this world that would love to have access to this type of food. FDA, please solve real problems or PISS OFF.

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There you have it.  Al’s first blog post, even if it wasn’t his blog.  Please, send lots of comments, he’s an attention whore just like me.  And do pass it on to as MANY people as you can. Especially if they’re American (bureaucrats).

rant American Government is Retarded, Cheerios, Drugs, FDA, stupid