The Mind of Spaz

If I was a popular blogger, putting up a post after months of absenteeism would land me excitement as my thousands of readers tripped over each other in the comments section welcoming me back and giving me shit for not posting.

I’m pretty sure that isn’t going to happen here, to me.  And I’m not going to apologize for being away either.

See, I’m a busy man. Ok, i’m not that busy. It’s just that I lost interest. I mean, there’s only so many jokes you can make about fat, poop and stupid people and I just lost interest.  Plus, none of the people that come here buy anything from my amazon links or nothing, and google ads are just worthless on this site. Not that anyone clicks them anyways.

Ok, fine, I’m a money grubbing Jew. But with my site, www.truthofwater.com, making upwards of $10 a day on google ads for me doing NOTHING, well, that site is way more important. So within the next week a new improved version of that site will come out and hopefully It’ll rake in more bucks so I can satisfy my Jewish/guy that likes to spend money side.

But the point of all this is that I’ve now compiled my bucket list.  This list will start the DAY I turn 80.  As follows:

• Smoke crack
• Screw a hooker
• Screw a hooker with aides
• Resume smoking cigarettes
• Smoke more crack if I liked it the first time
• Take ecstasy and go to a rave
• Try naked bungee jumping
• Get really really really really really really fat
• Walk around shirtless after getting really really fat
• Buy and ride a moped
• Public defecation
• Do something that’ll land me in jail for a couple of weeks
• Punch the biggest guy named Bubba in jail right in the gonads
• Scream at annoying teenagers from my porch
• Scream at annoying teenagers from their porch
• Buy a trunk monkey
• Break into the biggest drug company I can find and bitch slap the president until he releases the REAL cure for cancer, aides, et al. Yea, we know you have it but are just making money on drugs bitches. Get ready for 80 year old Spaz, I’m coming for you.
• Go to Afghanistan and find Osama. Then rape his ass with an AK-47. Make him read a statement while on T.V. saying how much he likes getting things up his bum.
• Smoke more crack

I think that’s it.   See ya’ll in a few months, bitches!

dumb things I do to myself, talking out of my ass bucket list, trunk monkey, whatever

I’m not dead. Yet. I just haven’t felt like updating this blog in a while. Seeing you know, as I wrote this article that keeps on getting mega hits but I haven’t made a fucking dime.

Yea, I’m a whiny punk.

I’m writing this as my buddy Tech Joe mentioned I haven’t updated in a while. Well, not much happened to me lately. Well, three things have.

1. I met godzilla.
2. I met mothra shortly after I met godzilla
3. I out farted the office farter.

I’ll explain all that crap later. When I feel like it.
Bye.

talking out of my ass godzilla has back boobs, shits, whatever