It’s Like Living With Your Idiot Cousin Effrum
What do you think when you hear the word Canadian? Super nice? Really friendly? Maple syrup, poutine, hockey and cops riding horses? Is that what you think, eh? You stupid American prick?
Let me tell you all a little sumptin sumptin. Canada is a socialist country. That’s right, socialist. Even our right wingers are bleeding pansies in comparison to the Republican party. We’re practically commies over here. No, not that Russian or Chinese “Our version of Marxism is like a good from far but far from good chick, not nice to see up close and has really bad breath.” It’s more like the “We’re helping people who don’t actually need help so much that pretty soon there’s only going to be one guy working and he’s going to have to pay three point five million percent income tax Marxism”.
Let me explain it another way.
Let’s say that got an education, landed a good job where you worked hard, and bought a nice house and a good working vehicle and filled your refrigerator with good food. Now let’s say that you had a father that you couldn’t say no to, because if he did he’d beat your ass and lock you in a room for the next ten years. Father has just told you that your idiot cousin Effrum is coming to stay with you, forever, and he’s never going to leave.
Now Effrum is living in your house. Everyday you go to work, work hard, and come home dog tired.
Effrum has spent the day eating cheesy poofs and watching soap Operas. Effrum has cranked the A/C to full, turned on every light in the house, and left the shower running just because he can.
He also took a dump in your kitchen sink and complained that you didn’t bring home more cheesy poofs.
You’ve asked Effrum to be more considerate but he bitch slapped you right across the face.
You tell your father all this and he bitch slaps you across the other side of your face, telling you that you’re an insensitive jerk and you’ll probably go to hell.
Your father then tells you that Effrum needs more spending money for “better food”. He kicks you in the nuts, steals $100.00 from your wallet and gives it to Effrum.
Effrum goes out and buys lottery tickets, smokes, beer, and a new video game.
Effrum decides he doesn’t like the fact that you own the house, own the car, and after having worked your ass off for 15 years (while he’s done nothing but gotten progressively fatter and uglier) you finally bought that motorcycle you’ve always wanted. He and his ugly friends get up off their fat asses and protest all the nice houses uptown that people have worked hard for, messing up their lawns and stomping on their geraniums.
The fathers are called, but they do nothing, chastising you for not being sympathetic to the plight of Effrum and his disgusting smelly friends.
Finding out that there’s actually nothing physically wrong with Effrum, you ask him to maybe go out and find a job to help pay for the incredibly huge bills he’s creating at your expense. Effrum tells you to fuck off and takes another dump in the kitchen sink. Father bitch slaps you twice and asks you why you can’t be more understanding.
Later that week, Effrum stomps off downtown and has sex with fourteen different women. He didn’t wear a condom, and ten of the women get pregnant. They’re not quite sure it’s Effrum’s though, because they’d already had sex with at least nine other guys that week.
After the female Effrums squirt out the kid, Father thrashes you to within an inch of your life, takes $500 from your wallet, and rewards the female Effrums for being disgusting whores. He does the same for each kid the female Effrums squirt, only beating you just a bit harder and and taking just a bit more money each time.
So, who are the players?
I’m me. Yes, the average hard working Canadian slob, trying to make it on whatever is left over after the Federal and Provincial governments take 53% of your salary, you’re done paying 13% tax on everything you purchase, and the municipal government finishes taking their huge percentage for property tax.
Who’s Father? Why, father is your benevolent left winged socialist government, working hard for you!
And Effrum is the welfare slob. Did I mention that Effrum is the fourth generation welfare slob? Yes, we’ve already passed three full generations of full time welfare people, most of whom were physically able to work, but just didn’t want to.
And we said to them, “Don’t worry, you don’t’ have to work, because everybody else will just work harder for you.”
While Father is busy feeding the idiotic off your hard earned money, he’s also slipping a few billion into his pocket at the same time, all the while chastising you for being an insensitive jackass.
So Americans, and I’m talking to you: Who do you think is at fault here? Father, Effrum or myself?
And ask yourself this: Is a system that punishes you for contributing and rewards you for leeching ultimately sustainable in the long term?
Think about it, and watch Obama and his band of left wingers carefully. Maybe, just maybe, if you’re quick, lucky, and decisive, you can keep the good Mr. Obama might do, and weed out the left winged idiocy.
Maybe.
